#(clarification: old man saying slurs

[homosekularnost]

sometimes i wonder if the whole pope-saying-a-slur thing was a pr stunt to distract from how discriminatory the rest of the statement was but then remember not even god himself could have foreseen people acting this fucking stupid

[cherryredstars]

could you write something for simon with an asexual partner please :)

luv ya have a nice day<3

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Asexual!reader

Warnings: Fluff, Indirect Mentions of Simon's SA

A/N: I hope your day is amazing, lovely anon! Haven't written for Si in AGES!

Unedited

It's a whole conversation. You have to really take time to sit him down and talk about it and what it means/how it will play a part in the relationship. The discussion is like two hours long. He truly just doesn't understand. Not in a 'wtf are you on, humans are made to want to have sex' way, but in a 'I'm literally an old man and I've been too busy trying to not die in foreign territories' way. (Let's be real, this man does not know any LGBTQ identities besides gay and lesbian and has no idea the f slur refers to anything other than a smoke).

He honestly thought you were telling him you were 'a sexual' when you said it to him. He just blinked at you slowly in confusion because he had genuinely no idea if this was your way of demanding sexual intimacy or like some weird foreplay. Like are you demanding him to treat you like an animal in heat or is this some weird test? And his way of asking for clarification?: "...like Johnny?" (A man who has no-filtered talked about wanting to pound into the first person he got his hands on at the nearby bar over lunch at your dining table).

Please be patient as you're explaining it to him, I beg you. He's repeatedly asking the same questions over and over again and repeating everything you say back because he's actually trying to understand and he doesn't want to mess anything up. Every other sentence he's nodding his head slowly and then just going, "so...basically-?" insert thing you just said but reworded. Please just explain it to him like he's a five year old, he really does feel like one right now.

Totally respects your choice and feelings around sex. He doesn't really go jumping for joy or is in the constant need for a release with everything he experienced in the past, so sex isn't a deal breaker for him in a relationship. You want zero sex because you just don't feel the need for it or simply don't like it? That's a-okay with him, he wasn't having sex before he met you and he doesn't see a reason why that needs to change now that you're together. You're okay with having sex but only under certain conditions and with a few boundaries in place? Can you wait just a moment while he goes to get something to write it all down on so he can make sure he doesn't accidentally overlook something in the future? You wouldn't mind him adding a few boundaries too, right? He doesn't object to anything you say, just asks for clarification from time to time and writes down notes on the side.

He's your number one defender when friends or family or nosy strangers ask about the intimacy aspects of your relationship. Shuts them up real fast when they start to show a hint of judgement towards the choices the two of you made or tries to insinuate you're 'depriving him' of something. Gives them the nastiest glare and bluntly asks them why they care so much about people's sex lives or asks them really uncomfortable questions about their sex life with a straight face until they awkwardly excuse themselves.

This man just loves you for you and reminds you everyday that you're his luvie and he wouldn't have it any other way.

[nothorses]

Asking on anon because I don't feel like getting fucking lambasted by both radical sides of this. But I think they're are some folks that talk about transandrophobia (not you, baeddel-txt, etc) that are starting to pick up on toxic masculinity in the same way TIRFs picked up on TME/TMA shite and the like. (I have it on my blog but only because I'm tired of getting a toss up treatment from shallow transfems and getting reduced to either a cis man or them insinuating I'm not who I say I am, and the like. Frankly as of today I'm muting all of the related tags on both sides because frankly... I need a break).

I agree with y'all just like, be aware of it just like transfems should be aware of our own problems.

I also dislike the whole TIRFs "reclaiming" baeddel as a.) It's literally a ye old slur for intersex people (re: tfems having a problem with fetishizing intersex people, speaking from personal experience here)

b.) it reads like a far inferior version of reclaiming the tslur, which tbh, I would just prefer if they did that.

Also I guess if you ask this and you care so much about who's sending this, I'll reveal myself, just don't make it public because I don't need to be getting harassed by TIRFs for being a weird reject because I just choose to be both a girl and a boy identity wise and clearly the everything not binary fem phobia (even if I meet the criteria of not "CAFAB" to them.) they have is still clearly alive and well considering I took a soft ban 3 months ago for it. (After getting a full ban rolled back bc of staff reviewing it.)

The "baeddel"/TIRF ideology reminds me a lot of my own internalized transmisogyny turning me into a shithead radfem both pre and post coming out, but also everything else going with it.

That's not to say that there isn't some areas where it can be disproportionate. I also don't understand the obsession with violence statistics when a.) It shouldn't be happening period and b.) I don't think either side is accurately reported, really, unless it's entirely relying on self reporting. Also c.) I don't know how much of violence on trans SWers is reported in that, i could see it being even or even mildly trans fem biased, not statistically significant though.

I'll be honest here in that I am not 100% sure I'm understanding you correctly, but it sounds to me like you're making a couple of different points that I'd love to be able to engage with- I think I just need some clarification first so I can make sure I'm not completely misinterpreting what you're trying to get across.

So like, if it's cool, I would love a follow-up ask to clarify a couple of things!

What are folks doing with "toxic masculinity" that you feel is similar to what TIRFs have done with TME/TMA? My understanding would be that TME/TMA were turned into a kind of definitive label that people use to determine who's allowed to speak on certain issues, who's "oppressed enough" to matter, etc., but I don't really see a way that parallels "toxic masculininity" among folks who talk about transandrophobia. Unless you mean that people are distancing themselves from the possibility of being masculine in a toxic way on the basis of their identity? (If that's the case, I think I'm misunderstanding the connection to TME/TMA)

Could you expand on: "The "baeddel"/TIRF ideology reminds me a lot of my own internalized transmisogyny turning me into a shithead radfem"? I think the sentence after that muddied what you meant, for me, and I'm curious what insights you have there!

Also RE: statistics, I really agree that there need to be more studies and research into these issues in order to get any real sense of clarity. IMO the best uses for statistics of violence and discrimination against trans people, specifically stats that tell us who is facing what kind of discrimination, is to better understand the systems causing us harm in order to work towards dismantling them.

Trying to determine "who has it worst" overall is pointless and self-defeating. The goal should be to understand why transmascs tend to face more lifetime sexual violence, while transfems tend to face more childhood sexual violence. Not to decide which issue to give a shit about and which issue to ignore, or which trans people "deserve" to be prioritized over all the others.

I will also say that the study I draw from more than others is the U.S. Transgender Survey, which relies on self-reporting. I recommend checking them out if stats interest you; they're pretty expansive and had a massive sample size. The 2015 results have been published for a while, and 2022 results are coming soon.

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

Dudes, just for clarification, the habit abled-bodied autistic people are into of constantly calling themselves ~"neurodivergent"~ all the time, entirely gas-lit me and tricked me into thinking that it was some entirely brand new form of completely ignored and un- diagnosed disability, that I couldn't have and couldn't possibly understand and just needed to make space for people who had this very new, very specific thing ... When all this time I had goddamn fucking Cerebral Palsy, which by default, also makes me ~"neurodivergent"~ ...

I once legit got screamed at online, by an abled-bodied autistic gay man harassing me over some bullshit fandumb discourse like:

"I DONT CARE IF UR IN A WHEELCHAIR AND HATE ME BC IM ABLED BODIED! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING! BUT IF U CHOOSE TO 'BEHAVE' DIS WAY N' UR DIS MANY YRS OLD, GAWD HELP ME, U BETTA' HAVE SUM TYPE O' ~NEURODIVERSTY~' OR SUMETHIN' AS UR EXCUSE 4 DAT, GUUUUUUURRRRRRLLLL...! uwu"

And I was like ?????

And yeah anyway, it might've been my biggest Bimbo Moment that I even had to check, but my point is that we owe abled-bodied people absolutely nothing, and I despise the term ~"neurodivergent"~ now...

I also learned that day that abled-bodied autistic people really will come up with any way to creatively call any visibly physically disabled person using any mobility aide The R-Slur without explicitly, actually saying The R-Slur ....

Bye! :D ♥

[darkiveofourown]

"Why are you in the garden?" Mark lets out a long-suffering sigh. "And why are you naked?" 

William groans, turning over. Good thing it's his brother who found him here. Anyone else would have been pissed. The twenty year old was always doing something stupid like this. 

"Would you believe it was on purpose?" William says after a long pause, eyes blinking up at the sun like he's going to fight the bright bastard. 

"No." 

"Damn." The older man sits up, obviously disoriented. "Well, if you must know, Damien and I got plastered last night and I lost a bet." 

"Ah," is all Mark says. It's really all the clarification he needs. "Well, I'm going to go do my studies. When you feel like coming in, put your clothes on; Chef made breakfast." 

"What did he make?" slurs William. 

"Omelets and toast with jam." 

"Mmm, sounds delicious." 

"Good. Now get your bare ass up. You have work in twenty minutes. Mom and Dad won't be pleased if they find you out here instead of working." 

"Shit," William says, scrambling. His junk flies through the wind as he skedaddles to the manor. Mark watches his brother's naked ass bounce away, grass from the semi-newly mowed lawn falling off his cheeks. Mark mutters to himself, though he is quite amused. 

"Dumbass." 

Prompt #456

Why are you in the garden?

[wildcmbcrsmuses]

Johnny Depp: a problematic history. via @arkhamcitysiren on Twitter.

Poster’s Note: I did my best to include source links for these where I could. This is not my post nor my words, simply something I thought needed to be shared. I do not want any messages in my inbox about supporting A/mber H/eard because I do not, I’m just tired of seeing praise for J/ohnny when he has a notably problematic history, even with the current defamation case completely aside, which contains it’s own issues on both sides.

Johnny defending Roman Polaski. The monster who r/ped a 9 year old, two 10 year olds, a 12 year old, a 13 year old, two 15 year olds, three 16 year olds, an 18 year old and a 29 year old. "Maybe there's some money involved". (Video available here.)

Johnny Depp on Harvey Weinstein. (Image source.)

Johnny Depp is best friends with Marilyn Manson, Evan Rachel Wood's longtime abuser. He is also his daughter's godfather

Johnny groomed Winona Rider when she was 17 and he was nearing 30. (A later tweet clarifies this age difference, Rider would have been 17 while Depp was 26, video available here.)

Depp started dating Polina Glen when she was between 17 and 20 and he was in his mid 50's. (A later tweet clarifies this age difference, Glen would have been 23/24 while Depp was 55/56, source.)

Depp's history of homophobia, he says Amber's trans friend iO is trying "to be a man to her" after he calls him a slur. He also refers to Amber as a lesbian camp counselor and says it was okay back in 2013.

Sources say #JohnnyDepp paid his first wife, Lori Anne Allison, $1.25 million to keep quiet after he allegedly left a long ranting message in which he repeatedly used the N-word. (Source.)

Depp uses the N word in one of the texts he sent in 2014.

Ellen Barkin will take the stand against Johnny in the current trial in Virginia to shed more light on his violent nature, specifically about an incident where he threw a bottle at her. (A later tweet clarifies Depp did not throw the bottle at Ellen but a wall, source.)

Depp's disgusting texts to Paul Bettany where he says they should drown and burn her, then r*pe her corpse. (Source.)

“Johnny Depp: the way he behaves and speaks about women and more 1more recent, while talking horrible things about amber he talks about her ex girlfriend from 2019, Polina she was in her 20s at that time, he reference at her in the email at "the little Russian here" #JohnnyDepp” retweet via @doja200000.

More racist jokes

Johnny Depp's history of violence: arrested in 1989 for assaulting a hotel guard in Canda, arrested in 1994 for trashing a hotel room in New York City, and is being sued right now for assaulting a crew member. (1989 assault source, 1994 arrest source, lawsuit source.)

some clarifications cuz Depp fans are having a meltdown in my mentions, 1) Johnny did not throw the bottle AT Ellen, he threw it across the room 2) Polina was 24 by the end of her relationship with Depp, that makes it a 30+ year gap 3) Depp was 26 when he dated minor Winona.

Johnny Depp's ex business partner Anthony Fox sued Depp for allegedly conspiring to divert millions in profit from the viper room. A day before Fox could testify in the multi million dollar lawsuit, he goes missing, along with his pickup truck, and a 38 caliber revolver. (Source.)

Native American leaders question Johnny's ambiguous claims of Cherokee heritage that secured him the role in The Lone Ranger. (Source.)

This is the drink that Johnny fans use to excuse him saying the N word, he twisted it into making the racist joke.

The texts to Paul Bettany are NOT fabricated, here's a clip from the Virginia trial where they read them along with other damning texts. (Video availabe here.)

More texts from the southern gentleman.

Depp meeting with serbian fascist dictator Aleksandar Vučić, and signaling a well known fascist hand movement.

River died at the Viper Room where he was spiked with 8x the lethal dose of Cocaine/Heroin found in his stomach. Witnesses heard him pleading for help telling Depp he “was gonna die”, security threw him out onto the pavement while he was vomiting & convulsing without calling 911.

[oscar-delancey]

I was wondering what your take on the Delancey's backstory was!

You just unlocked a whole can of worms my guy (I'm also gonna do more than the backstory I wanna share all my takes sorry anon 💔)

To preface, I strictly follow the canon for the movie and the broadway performance. I do not include cut scripts or the jr musical. I choose not to use them for source and therefore will not acknowledge them here

Backstory

Alright so the Delancey brothers were teenagers/not official adults during the time of the strike. Like around Jack's age you could say (Oscar was 17 and Morris was 19) (Note that at the time of the strike/1899, being under 21 was considered being a minor/kid. This did not change until 1971 when the 26th amendment was passed and declared the voting age and therefore the age of being an adult as 18 years old. We see further proof of this being true to the world of Newsies in the movie when Jack is to be sent to the Refuge (a child prison I must specify) until he is 21)

The brothers were canonically abandoned at a young age according the Anthony Norman, and I like the idea of that applying to the movie as well. In my interpretation, their parents abandoned them when they were VERY young (4 and 6 years old respectively) and they were forced to grow up in the Refuge

Growing up in the Refuge is a huge reason for why the brothers act the way they do. It began the process of them learning harmful behaviors and habits which would follow them into their teenage years and possibly even adulthood. Some of these things include theft and physically attacking other children

^^ I would like you to note I specified children. More likely than not there were a lot of girls who lived in the Refuge as well. They would not be treated any different from boys, as it is same to assume the idea of chivalry and not harming girls didn't get taught to those boys. This means it would be free reign to treat everyone the same and there were definitely boy on girl and girl on boy violence in the Refuge.

^^ With this, I would also like to point out that this means they were never taught chivalry when they were little. They grew up believing you treat everyone the same/everyone gets the same treatment and therefore wouldn't and don't hold back on girls

More under the cut.

Also for some quick clarification, I prefer 92sies Weisel FAR more than livesies. He seems like a genuinely sweet guy, he just happens to have been stuck in a spot of greed and getting a large power trip due to working for Pulitzer and his authority over the newsies. As my friend put it, "92sies Weisel would get you an ice cream and tell you to go away, but broadway Weisel would probably call you a slur." This man could've possibly been a pretty good parental figure to the brothers and maybe even nicer to the newsies, but sadly he ended up in a position that brought out the worst in him

^^ On that note, I do not believe he was the best person in the world. I feel like he played a part in enabling the behaviors of the brothers and it can be seen in the movie for sure. He uses them as a way to poke at the newsies from crying out loud. He also definitely has a say in what the brothers can and cannot do, as he is their legal guardian and was the one to get them out of the Refuge. (I believe he was the one who found them and requested to have them under his custody. He recognized them and their names due to them actually being the children of his sister who he doesn't have much contact with anymore simply because of their physical distance. (The Delanceys did not live in the big city prior to being sent to the Refuge))

Backstory (Personal Headcanons)

Their mother was ethnically Jewish and their father was protestant. Weisel is their uncle on their mother's side, hence why he is also ethnically Jewish

They did not grow up practicing any religion and do not practice any once they are older

The cross necklace that Oscar has is not because he is practicing Catholicism/Christianity, it is because it is what their father gave him before they were left at the Refuge. While he can't remember their parents very well, he wears it every day to stay connected to the small memories of the farm he still has

Morris remembers their parents quite well but never tells Oscar. He constantly lies about remembering due to the fact he doesn't want to ruin the ignorant bliss his younger brother has by telling him the... not so nice things he remembers from their childhood

Morris was also the one who did a lot of protecting at first in the Refuge. He spent a lot of time making sure his brother didn't get picked on and would fight the older kids who would try and harass them or steal their food. Soon enough this gave Oscar the confidence to back up his brother and he became a sort of hype man for Morris. He was (in the Refuge and working for the World) quite literally the guy who would be like "YEAH. GET HIM. WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT" while behind Morris as Morris stands off against someone

Their Relationship With the Newsies

While in livesies the brothers act more like hired guns, the movie's portrayal of their relationship with the newsies is very different. Carrying the Banner shows a lot more of their interaction with Jack and other newsies, and it feels a lot lighter than what we see in the broadway musical. I'm not saying that it is a good or friendly relationship, but it feels a lot less like the brothers were hired to hurt the newsies and more like they just harass each other. Honestly it's less "we were hired to hurt you and we enjoy it" like we see in livesies and more "we don't like each other so we ("Only Oscar" as Morris would probably say) enjoy tormenting you guys, and you guys enjoy tormenting us." THEY LITERALLY HAVE A TRUCE DURING CIRCULATION

The interaction during and just after Carrying the Banner genuinely feels more playful than bloodthirsty. Yes the brothers are mad at Jack for stealing Morris's hat, but they make no GENUINE attempt to hurt him (chasing =/= intent to hurt). Oscar and Morris are far more bark than bite and have problems and issues due to not being raised properly

^^ Also, arguably, Oscar is all bark and Morris is all bite. Oscar CONSTANTLY verbally messes with the newsies meanwhile we only see Morris do more than shove (outside of the alleyway scene, which I will touch on more later...kind of?)

Anyways you know that scene towards the end of CTB where they're in a giant circle with Jack and Oscar and Morris fighting in the middle? None of that screams a serious fight to me. Like, at all. It feels a lot lighter than even the boxing match Jack and Davey end up going to. I am sorry you just CANNOT tell me it was serious! Jack literally grabs Oscar who, mind you, doesn't struggle to try and get away when he very easily can, and uses him as a shield from Morris. This is the only time we see either brother actually try to harm Jack and its while Oscar is restrained in the way. Jack also taunts them the entire fight which we DON'T see in the ACTUAL SERIOUS FIGHT towards the end of the movie

After CTB ends, there's a truce. If the brothers wanted to hurt anyone else, they could have and WOULD have right there in that crowd. They had every opportunity to and deadass if Oscar wanted to cause harm, he probably would've shoved Les then, considering you can see him look down at Les when he shoves past the brothers. But he doesn't, he just stands there and watches

^^ They do threaten Jack as they all walk up the ramp, ("We'll play again tomorrow, cowboy" - Morris; "You're as good as dead, cowboy" - Oscar), though it's generally calm after that. Like we do not see them doing anything to the newsies for the rest of the day

The next time they make a significant appearance is when Kid Blink announces the change of prince of the papers. In the background in the window we see Oscar just mocking him. That's it that's... that's it. He's just messing around and having a fun time making fun of Blink. But after he's done, he STAYS in the window, genuinely curious. He listens to what the boys have to say about the paper and the idea of a strike (He literally moves back and forth from the window to the desk and back to the window to listen to all the gossip from Jack and the others). He doesn't yell at them or instigate anything he just listens until Weisel tells the newsies to screw off. Even then he just makes a face and wiggles his fingers in some taunting way and that's that

Now, what's harder to talk about is the alleyway scene towards the end of the movie. It is a scene many people often skip due to just how horrible it is and it is in NO WAY presented with the same light energy as CTB. It was a disgusting scene that I specifically do not want to get into. I will talk about events leading up to it and my perception of them/take on them, but I am not comfortable actually talking about it. Do note this is not me erasing what happened or ignoring it in any way, I am just uncomfortable.

Weisel is hosting Jack in the basement of the circulation building, this is known. While he don't know for sure how attached Weisel is to the building in canon (does he also live there? Is he just there a lot of the time? Who knows), I personally feel like Weisel and the brothers live on the main floor, just further inside. But that's just me. Anyways, we know he spends a lot of time in the front room behind the sort of desk area due to all of the papers and general stuff around him that we see when he's calling the cops. He is also seemingly entrusted with Jack's care and he appears to be responsible for making sure Jack stays a scab. He is very likely being paid to do it by Pulitzer and/or Snyder

But, when it comes to Oscar threatening Davey, I can think of a two reasons for why it was said/why they were going to do it. Those reasons are as follows:

1. They took down one leader of the strike so they needed to get the other. They enlisted the Delancey brothers to do it since they work closely with the newsies and would be able to actually recognize Davey and would know common areas for the selling of papers. Oscar just happens to have little to no filter and spills this to Jack in order to taunt him. This would make sense with the frustration we see out of Morris and how he hits/shoves Oscar and tells him to "shut up" while pushing him back, all while Oscar is still smiling 2. They needed to test Jack to make sure he would stay a scab, but they really wanted to push his buttons. This idea can be explained by the way Weisel says "Lift one finger and it's right back to the Refuge." It's like they're doing this on purpose to test the resolve of Jack and to see just how far he is willing to go and how much he is willing to risk for his friends

Finishing Thoughts

They are still young and haven't been given an opportunity to grow

They work for old men of multiple social classes who have a lot of power and greed

They are still legally minors under the care and custody of a male parental figure. As per how older households worked, Weisel had the right to decide what the brothers could and could not do (and probably threatened to send them back to the Refuge multiple times on days he was angry/sick of their shit)

The newsies didn't really give them an opportunity to do better and make up for their actions. They continually antagonized/poked at the brothers and enabled their behavior

TL:DR the brothers did fucked up things but they also didn't have the ability not to

[we8comic]

ofc feel free to not answer this!! but i was just curious seeing as youre mex do you have any opinions on george using the b slur in old videos is it something you were aware about already? hope you’re having a good day btw!

it's not smthn i heard abt, i just woke up lol. ive just gotta ask what the point is of dragging up a past hes clearly moved on and learned from almost a decade after it happened 🙄 it's stupidly immature to not accept that people can change without making a public apology annually PLUS the most mature way to have dealt with it wouldve been to talk to him directly and getting clarification (and asking for a public apology if you dont think thats enough) instead of just posting a public thread about every thing youve deemed a failing. from saying slurs as a 14 year old to taking things out of context and assuming the worst then taking that assumption as fact that he meant something worse than he did.

i wouldn't be surprised if the ppl who compiled this list of offences dont actually give a shit and just want him to look bad/themselves to look good

I recommend REALLY looking into Lashon Hara. it's what really changed/grounded a lot of how i, personally, react to old wrongdoings. here are some relevant screenshots from the full thread i just reblogged (check out the full thread)

i will say there is a difference between absolving him of his wrongdoings entirely and claiming he never did anything wrong vs accepting that he did something wrong and has clearly learned otherwise, but you (everyone in general) dont have to post things like "i'll just wait till ppl affected make an opinion about this" literally just dont make the post, i couldnt care less about how u dont wanna talk about it cus you "dont know better 😔" like just shut the hell up, man, we know 😐

tl;dr: i dont give a shit

and good morning :]

[alj4890]

I got an ask we know Riley gets kidnapped by Anton but what if Anton was in love with her and he didn’t wanna kill her but makes her his. What if Olivia killed Claudus for shooting drake.

I love the way you think, Nonny! I actually would have eaten this up with a spoon if that had happened in canon. To be honest, I really liked Justin in book 2. If he had been a new love interest, I would have done a play through just to see what happens if Riley chose him 🤦🏻 Of course then we find out he is behind all the bombings and such so...oops, LOL. When I first saw your request, I made an aesthetic with just Justin/Anton and Riley in mind. I completely forgot to add a definite OTP of mine, Drake and Olivia, to it. Smh. The story though will definitely include them along with Riley and Justin. I am so tempted to turn this into a series 🙊

@gkittylove99 @krsnlove @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @yourmajesty09 @mom2000aggie @ofpixelsandscribbles @twinkleallnight @lodberg  @amandablink @neotericthemis  @mm2305 @sfb123 @iufilms

Masterlist

True Intentions

It had happened when he had not been paying attention. It shouldn't have happened at all. He had one goal. One mission. Nothing had ever come to mean more to him than that. Nothing. No one.

Until Riley.

He knew he shouldn't have spent so much time with her. He shouldn't have helped Maxwell in picking the right dresses for her. He shouldn't have stuck around to see her come out of dressing rooms, an excited smile upon her face, as she twirled around for them to give their opinions.

It had taken all his will power to keep from telling her what he truly thought. Riley's beauty was simply stunning, not because of her outer loveliness, but more that he saw her inner beauty shining through each trial she faced. Her strength amazed him. Her wit brought a smile to his face. Her kindness touched his heart.

It made him begin to long for things he shouldn't. They shouldn't be a part of any dream or plan he had.

And yet...she was beginning to crop up in his thoughts. In his dreams.

In his plans.

He winced as he tried to get comfortable.

His plans hadn't exactly gone as he had hoped. In fact, he should have talked to his men and explained that Riley was not to be a target.

Thank God for Drake. If he hadn't jumped in front of her, she would have been taken from me.

His lips twisted in another painful grimace.

"Are you in pain?"

Justin looked up and tried to smile. "Just a little."

His nurse shook her head. "I told you to buzz before it got too bad." She gently checked his wound.

"I don't want to be a bother." He mumbled.

"You aren't." She patted his hand. "You aren't any trouble at all." Her nose wrinkled. "We had a few nobles cause unnecessary problems when the attack happened."

"Really?"

She rolled her eyes. "Some were knocked down during the chaos and demanded they be admitted."

He chuckled softly. "Sounds like something they would do."

"It's a shame that good people like you were seriously hurt while those spoiled nobles try and take all the attention." She readjusted his covers after administering some more pain medication in his IV. "I don't know why King Liam is so hellbent on bringing them back to court."

"What do you mean?" Justin tried to fight the effects of the pain medicine. "What's he doing?"

"He and Lady Riley are going on some type of tour to some of the major houses to personally invite them to their wedding."

His brow furrowed.

A unity tour. That would work on these small minded individuals. It was a smart move. The public were already Team Riam. Once the royal couple convinced the most powerful houses to come to their wedding, all the other minor lords and ladies would follow suit.

"Well played, Liam." Justin's eyes drooped closed. "Well played."

**************

He couldn't believe that they not only convinced Madeleine's entire family, but also somehow got all of Portavira on their side.

"What's the plan?" Claudius asked.

"We need something big to remind everyone that we aren't a one trick pony." Justin told him.

He looked out the window. Leaves were beginning to change with the first hints of autumn in the air.

A hint of a smile appeared as a plan began to form.

"It would be a shame if Cordonia's apple orchard had a bad year, wouldn't it?" He eyed his second in command.

Claudius chuckled. "It really would."

******************

Justin watched as every channel showed the devastation of the orchard near Applewood. He couldn't help but smile over Riley making the people love her even more for her righteous anger. Her promises to bring those responsible to justice along with making the orchard bigger than before made him nearly burst with pride.

She had grown into her role more so than he had ever imagined. Gone was the timid young waitress from New York who uttered no comment when reporters surrounded her. She was a confident woman now who could think on her feet.

Justin thought she was more attractive than the first time he had seen her floundering in front of the cameras, in desperate need of a hero. It hadn't been a bother to rush to her side then and put his arm around her. Her wide eyes had lifted to his and he had nearly melted from her beauty.

He still couldn't believe that she forgave Liam for choosing another over her. Granted Madeleine impressed him with how she could manipulate reporters into spinning a story to her advantage, but Riley was so many things that the cold countess was not. She deserved better than what she got.

And he planned on giving it to her.

*****************

A week after the orchard burning, he turned to see the one rarely far from his thoughts.

"Justin!" Riley rushed over to engulf him in a hug.

"How's my favorite media darling?" He asked.

She leaned back and gave him that smile that was brighter than flash bulbs. "Much better now that I know you're recovering." She playfully glanced about before whispering, "Save me from Madeleine!"

He laughed as he hugged her once more. "I don't know. I've seen her work and can't find fault with it."

Riley pouted. She linked her arm with his as they walked down the hospital hallway. "I prefer your guidance to hers." Her nose wrinkled. "It's weird being told how to act by Liam's former fiancée. I know there wasn't anything between them, but still."

Justin patted her hand. "Tell you what. If Madeleine is unable to do her job or you decide to fire her, then I will gladly step back into my old position." He dug around in his pocket for the earpiece she had used during Liam's engagement tour.

Her smile reappeared. "Old faithful."

"I'm always Just-in-time." He teased.

*****************

It had been too close. He hadn't expected Riley to go anywhere near Constantine. And there she was, by Liam's side, graciously accepting some necklace from the old man who had destroyed her initial happily ever after.

His heart had nearly stopped as he watched rubble fall around them. Riley had frozen in fear over Liam's safety. It was a nightmare come to life as pieces of the wall and ceiling began to collapse.

At least one good thing had come from this: one king was dead.

It sadly wasn't the king he needed to die.

Justin began to plan how he would comfort Riley once Liam was gone. He wouldn't have to tell her it was he, himself, who orchestrated his death. But he would make certain to enjoy the benefits of it.

His eyes narrowed over another slight problem he had.

He was going to have to kill his own wife too.

******************

Lythikos...

It had been almost too easy. Madeleine was already in need of a distraction after hearing Liam gush over how excited he was to marry Riley in a few weeks. Once she requested a fruity cocktail, he knew then that the poison could go undetected taste wise.

The bartender left to go replenish the champagne. Madeleine's irritation over having to wait on a refill was drawing attention.

"Here." He grinned at her. "Allow me to make you another."

Her eyes widened. "Aren't you that press secretary that helped Riley?"

"I am." He began to mix a strong cocktail for her while adding the poison, all right under her nose. "And I must say you are the best I've ever seen."

Madeleine's irritation disappeared over the compliment. "I am, aren't I?"

"Riley's lucky to have someone so knowledgeable in ways of both the court and public like you." He added.

"Yes, she is." Madeleine muttered. "I'll do anything for my country, even if it is a thankless job."

"You should be recognized for your sacrifice." Justin handed her the deadly drink.

"Yes, I should." She took a gulp.

"How is it?" He asked.

"It's the only good thing here." A tipsy grin appeared on her face when she saw Riley. She grasped Justin's hand and pulled him in her wake. "Let's go say, hi."

"Boooooo!" Madeleine giggled when Riley turned around. "It's the ghosts of press secretary past and present."

"The what now?" Riley lips trembled with suppressed laughter as she looked up at Justin for clarification.

"I'm the ghost of press secretary past." He winked at her.

"OoooOooo!" Madeleine swayed where she stood.

"Whoa, there." Riley tried to steady her. "You okay?"

"She's had a little too much." Justin mimed drinking.

"It's a party!" Madeleine slurred. "It's in the worst place ever but it's a party and I'm going to...going to..."

"Enjoy it?" Riley offered.

"Extractly!" Madeleine's brow wrinkled over that not being the right word. "Expactly?"

"Exactly." Justin corrected.

"That."

The crowd quieted around them when Olivia took the stage to offer a final toast of the evening to Liam and Riley's wedding.

"Woo!" Madeleine cheered.

Riley and Justin tried to shush her.

Her giddy smile fell as her rosy cheeks drained of color. "Somefing's not..."

"Madeleine?" Riley lost her grip on her when she swayed violently to the right. "What's--"

Madeleine hit a table, causing the plates to clatter and the vase of blood red roses to fall over.

"I hate this place." She collapsed on the floor.

"Madeleine!" Riley dropped to her knees and tried to bring her to. "Liam! Mara! Come quick!"

Justin stepped back as the two came to see what was wrong. He watched as Olivia made her way through the crowd to find out what the all the fuss was about.

"What's wrong with her?" Riley asked.

"She's been poisoned." Mara whispered.

*******************

Justin loved seeing the delighted surprise once more on Riley's face when he said he would take over Madeleine's duties for the rest of the tour. It would have been a perfect moment if Liam had not been standing there. He was ashamed to think of his nearly giving himself away when he panicked at the sight of Olivia walking in behind him.

He wished Lucretia would quit trying to push Olivia into going into the family vault. She had a sick sense of humor in wanting her niece to discover she was already married. For some reason, she did not approve of the way her niece depended on her friends for support.

Justin knew the power friends could have. Had he not been trained by his own parents' friends, he wouldn't be the worthy man next in line to the throne. His comradery with his own men inspired their loyalty and willingness to die to make him king.

He needed to distance himself from Lucretia the moment they got out of Lythikos.

****************

She was supposed to come alone! Why did she bring Riley? I can't kill her. I need her. I deserve to have a choice in the one I want ruling by my side. The people already adore her, much more so than they admire Olivia. I was supposed to become free of this marriage. Once she and Liam are dead, I'll be able to be king and have--

"Justin?" Riley's eyes were clouded with confusion as she looked first at a picture of him dressed in a royal uniform. "What is this?"

"I'm sorry, Riley." His voice cracked on her name.

Justin reached in his pocket and pulled out a revolver.

Lucretia cackled with glee as she told her niece the truth about her marriage.

Justin stood there silently as the woman he loved shook her head in denial.

She's so incredibly sweet to doubt a friend could be the bad guy. I hate that I can't pull her away from all this and simply explain why I should be the ruler of Cordonia. I deserve it. I worked for it. My entire life was made for me to take the crown. She would be able to understand that. Look how far she's come in her own life. Who could imagine a waitress from some dive bar in America would come to be the next queen of a small European nation?

"Do it already!" Lucretia hissed. "Shoot her!"

He couldn't do it. Even as he held the gun steady, pointed directly at the woman he loved's heart, he couldn't shoot Riley.

"Get away from her!" Liam ordered.

Justin spun around to see the king and guards filling up the narrow passageway.

"I thought you said this was secure." Justin snapped at Lucretia.

"It was." She held her hands up in surrender.

Justin watched as she stepped forward, pretending to stumble.

His eyes widened as once again his love was trapped within a collapsing room.

He managed to see her safely end up in Liam's arms before escaping through a hidden passage.

He left Lucretia to the guards. She had served her purpose and was sadly of no use to him any longer. Now he could plan what he truly wanted to happen.

*******************

Liam and Riley's wedding day...

"I don't care who you kill. Olivia and Riley are to be taken alive." Justin told the small team of men he was sending in. "If you have to wound them to get them here, make certain Riley's is non life threatening.

He ignored the questioning look Claudius sent his way.

"Bring them both to our stronghold." His eyes narrowed. "Do not fail me."

****************

Later that night...

"Good work." Justin straightened his jacket. He wanted to look his best when he saw Riley again.

Claudius smirked at him. "Just think of all the men we would still have if you had let me go alone."

Justin chuckled. "True, but at least we are free of our weakest links." He smoothed his hair back. "Now take me to our guests."

***************

"I know the real Justin is somewhere in there." Riley leaned as far forward as her bindings allowed. "You helped me gain the love of the people. You know that if you kill me, the people will not readily accept you as king."

He couldn't help but smile. "I know and that is why I don't intend to hurt you."

"Then why kidnap us?" Olivia demanded.

He turned toward her. "If I'm to be king, then I have to take the necessary steps to claim the throne." He motioned for Claudius to come in.

"You're the one who shot Drake!" Olivia shouted, struggling against the ropes biting into her tender skin. "You'll regret that."

"And you tried to kill me!" Riley added, narrowing her eyes.

"That was a mistake." Justin quickly said. "You were never to be harmed."

"Then why all the attempts?" She asked. "Why do you persist in--"

"You weren't supposed to be here, Riley." He knelt down in front of her. "You should have stayed in New York until the time was right"

Her eyebrows drew together. "What are you talking about.

Justin asked Claudius to remain with Olivia while he took Riley somewhere private.

"If you think for one second that I will remain with this man while you take her away go do only God knows what," Olivia's chair creaked at her straining to break free, "then you don't know what a Nevarkis is truly made of!"

Justine rolled his eyes over her rant as he untied Riley from her chair. He kept her ankles and wrists bound together. He swept her into his arms and carried her out.

Olivia's shouts were silenced by the sound of a hard slap.

Riley struggled in Justin's arms. "What did he do to her? OLIVIA?!" Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Justin, please don't--"

"Nothing's happened to her." He took her into a surprisingly clean, yet drab, sitting room.

Riley was dropped on a chaise lounge. She eyed the door then Justin.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He repeated. He gently cupped her cheek, fingers brushing along her jaw line. "I love you too much to ever harm you."

Riley stilled. She looked up at him. "You what?"

He knelt before her. "I'm in love with you. It didn't hit me until you told me you had accepted Liam's proposal on the train. I didn't plan it, but I refuse to hide my feelings any longer." He smiled at her. "You've proven yourself as the rightful Queen of Cordonia. Once Liam and Olivia are dead, you and I can rule this country as we see fit. We'll--"

Riley shook her head. "Justin," she believed he was deranged and knew she had to handle this carefully, "I'm flattered. Really I am. I mean, we both know I would never have gotten this far without you."

His smile grew at her realizing she owed him for her meteoric rise within the court.

"But if you kill Liam and Olivia, the people will not feel any love or loyalty for you." She tilted her head as she studied him. "Surely you see the problem with this plan."

"People respect power." He explained. "They respect someone who fights for what is rightfully his. Since my birth, I have been meant for something greater. My parents, Olivia's family, even my soldiers realized that I alone am worthy to rule over this country." He focused once more upon her. "And I've seen that you are the one to do so by my side."

Riley shook her head. "Justin, I am honored," her voice cracked on that lie, "to have your love but I can't accept it." Her eyes filled with tears. "I'm in love with Liam."

"Riley, he didn't choose you." Justin argued. "He left you on your own to fight against nobles, the press, even his own father. You deserve so much more than being an afterthought."

Tears slipped down her cheeks once more. "That wasn't what he did. He was trying to protect me. And I--"

He leaned down and kissed her.

She froze at the touch, refusing to participate.

"Once Liam's gone, you will see the truth." Justin promised.

"I won't." Her eyes narrowed. "As long as I live, I'll hate you with everything within me for taking him from me."

"You don't have it in you." He shook his head in amusement. "You've forgiven everyone. Olivia, Penelope, Madeleine, even Constantine. You never hold a grudge."

"You'll be my first." Riley vowed. "Liam is the love of my life. If you ruin my chance to finally be with him, I will never forgive you. As long as there is breath in my body, I will find a way to destroy you."

"You are amazing." He murmured, knowing she was speaking from her heart. He couldn't wait for that devotion to be for himself.

"Anton?"

The two turned to see Claudius in the doorway. "Liam should be here any moment."

Justin nodded and told him he would meet him and the rest of the men downstairs.

He lifted Riley in his arms and placed her back in the cell with Olivia.

His wife had the bruised imprint of Claudius's hand on her alabaster cheek. Blood had dried on her bottom lip. No tears had fallen from the force of the hit. Her left eye was bloodshot as she glared up at him.

"Liv?" Riley choked out. "Are you--"

"I'm fine." Her harsh answer echoed in the chamber. "It will take more than some two bit thug to hurt me." Her eyes did a quick scan to make certain Riley wasn't hurt.

"If you will excuse me, I have to go prepare for Liam's last night on earth." He retied Riley to her chair.

She threw her head back with all her might to connect with his face.

His glasses broke from the force of her strike. Blood poured out his nose as he stumbled away from her.

"Don't ever," his voice dropped to a hiss, "do that again, my love." He gripped her chin and jerked her face up toward his. "You will learn how to behave soon enough."

He slammed the cell door and left them alone.

"Did he hurt you?" Olivia whispered.

"No." Riley bit her bottom lip. "Not yet."

*****************

"Where is my wife?" Liam demanded.

Justin couldn't help but be impressed. The young king was standing before him, completely outnumbered, yet didn't show the slightest flicker of fear.

He asked the one question that he himself would have asked if Riley was taken from him.

"She is well." Justin replied. "Which is something I can't promise about your own well being."

"I want to see her." Liam bit out. "Now!"

Justin's chuckle was interrupted by a hastily whispered message from Claudius. His head jerked around to search the dim hallway as if doing so would reveal the missing prisoners.

How had they escaped?

"You don't get to make demands here." He snapped at Liam.

"Let Riley and Olivia go." Liam ordered. "And I will take their place." His eyes narrowed. "I know it is a temporary one."

Justin couldn't help but smile. The man was indeed brave to trade his life for Riley and Olivia's.

"No!" Riley screamed out from the stairs.

Chaos broke out as she led the charge to attack the Sons of the Earth. Justin watched as she ran over to protect Liam's back.

The couple were doing their utmost to protect the other from harm.

Their friends were taking his well trained soldiers out one by one. It was embarrassing to see how pitiful his men fought.

Olivia moved into his line of sight. Fury blazed across her delicate features.

"I'm impressed." He told her, unsheathing his sword. "I should have searched you myself."

"Trust me." Olivia circled him. "It will be the last mistake you'll ever make!"

She lunged at him. He easily parried her attack. "I think you've forgotten that it was your parents who gave me the same training you had."

"I think you talk too much!" She twirled about, bringing her daggers up to stop his sword from meeting her shoulder. He grunted from her heel piercing his leg as she pushed off to break his hold.

They continued to try and deliver punishing blows to the other. She was desperate to kill the man who was after her friends and country. He was anxious to be free of their marriage.

He noticed from the corner of his eye Claudius and Drake fighting. His second in command stunned the commoner with an uppercut to his jaw, causing Drake to stumble back into a wall.

Olivia heard the scuffle and followed Justin's line of sight. Her face paled at Claudius moving towards Drake to end him once and for all.

With a flick of her wrists she not only slashed Justin but threw her other dagger at Claudius. It struck true along the side of his neck, cutting into his jugular. He let out a garbled scream as he fell to the floor.

Justin hissed at the deep gash she had made along his ribcage.

Seeing that it was a lost battle, he hopped the banister and began to rush upstairs. He would have to go into hiding once more before orchestrating another attack.

"This ends now!" Riley yelled out at him.

He spun around to see both her and Liam rushing toward him. He raised his sword, determined to put an end to the man who stood between him and the throne. He hesitated when Riley jumped in front of her husband.

"You're not taking him from me!" She raised her battle ax. "Every time you try, I will stop you."

Does Liam know how lucky he is? She waited on him to choose her. Twice! And now she stands here, ready to defend him to the death. How could any man not fall in love with Riley?

His refusal to fight her was his downfall. He was pushed over the banister by the royal couple. While his breath was knocked out, Maxwell and Hana bound his hands together behind his back.

He looked about at his fallen and captured comrades. His attention was drawn toward Olivia and Drake. The pair were covered in blood and bruises, yet they were leaning against each other. Drake had his arm around her while softly speaking. Whatever was said caused Olivia to press even closer to his side. Her arms slipped around his waist. Her eyes were closed tight as she allowed him to hold her.

Justin had suspected something more between the pair. It looked like his coup for the throne had accomplished something for them.

Bastien and the rest of the King's Guards rushed in. After talking to the king and new queen, he collected Justin and hauled him outside.

On the way, Justin met Riley's eyes.

There were so many things he wanted to explain to her. He believed she would have been on board with his plans for the kingdom. Once he had killed Liam and Olivia, he would be the benevolent king the country needed. Gone would be the purpose for pompous nobles. He would have established a council of Cordonia's citizens from all walks of life to advise him. People would be rewarded and honored for their service instead of simply being born to the right parents.

And she would have been his queen, guiding and protecting all she deemed worthy.

"Riley, I..."

"You will never ever hurt those I love again." She hissed.

"Take him away." Liam ordered, keeping his arms locked around his wife. "He will be dealt with in the morning."

Justin knew then that it was pointless to try and explain. She would never give him a chance after all that had occurred.

For the first time in his life, he realized that his intentions didn't matter to the one he loved most.

[iammarriedtothemusic]

The Internet Basically Attacking Joshua Basset

NOTE: I’m not calling out a specific fandom. I am completely aware that some carpenters also sent hate to this man, and that’s not okay. This is merely a short compilation of the horrible things the internet has done to him because of the DL drama. It is also fair to note that I am not actually a fan of Joshua Basset- but I do have a friend who’s a fan so I mostly got my context from him. 

Some of the pictures are mine, and some of the pictures are from other users (CTTO). I personally don’t have that much pictures because again, I’m not a fan- but I can attest to some of the death threats (also, am thankful for everyone who saw my compilation of Sabrina Carpenter’s death threats and sent me some of JB’s). I tried finding more but most of them are privated slash deleted but of course, this does not dismiss the fact that the internet sent death threats to Joshua Basset on mental health awareness month (and the last eight months) because of a fucking song. 

I am not blurring any username out because again, you posted on a public domain where your opinion is completely unprompted whatsoever, take responsibility. 

TW: invalidation of sexuality slash homophobic remarks (im not sure whether to label it as biphobia, panphobia, or queerphobia TBH because he never labelled himself but many of these basically dismisses the other letters in the community and straight up labels him gay when he never explicitly mentioned anything) (no, you can’t just make a homophobic remark and hide it in the guise of a joke, im not sure who needs to hear this but homophobia is not funny), bomb/death threats, slurs (censored), SA allegations

CONTEXT: Joshua Basset came out. He never explicitly mentioned slash placed a label on what he identifies as but it’s clear that he likes both men and women. (He said a few days later I think that he was still trying to navigate his way through all of it).

CONTEXT: There was a rise of sexual allegations against Joshua Basset. I personally don’t know how the case is going, all I heard is there are several allegations against him (my friend told me that Lie Lie Lie was written in 2020 about a friend who spread said allegations about JB), but I saved this from a thread that I unfortunately can no longer find :( that said, I have no idea about these and feel free to add more context! Thanks!

(edit: someone sent me a clarification about this, i was too drunk to reply properly but the ask itself is pretty clear. thank u anon!)

CONTEXT: Olivia had that white house thing and everyone made it about Joshua LMAO (Joshua had already been out by this time. Remember that he never said he was gay).

CONTEXT: Joshua complimented Skin, says he can’t get it out of his head. 

CONTEXT: Joshua Basset was hospitalized. There were many disgusting private QTs to this where they wished he d*** or somewhere along the line and I unfortunately can’t look into it (frankly im too lazy and ive already seen a lot of disgusting things). The ones below though are very viewable QTs/replies to an article about his hospitalization :)

CONTEXT: More on Joshua Basset’s coming out and the fact that everyone made it about the drama or the girls basically invalidating his coming out altogether (some were accusing him of queerbaiting)- seriously wondering where was Twitter’s performative activism when this one took place lmao

BOTTOMLINE- This is disgusting and this doesn’t even cover everything but the internet owes Joshua Basset a HUGE apology. I can’t even fathom how much hate this guy gets in his DMs. My friend (who’s a JB fan) told me that the hate where basically everywhere when SOUR came out because the entire internet apparently had nothing better to do than spin a few lines out of proportion to fit a damning narrative in order to act as hero when really, none of the hate this man gets is justified. Literally please get a hobby and stop hating on a twenty year old? Oh my god, my friend told me I would find more in IG but I don’t even want to get in there lol stay safe and don’t spread hate to anyone!

[crusty]

literally can’t understand what you’re trying to say with the exclusionist post can you reword it

YEAH, I appreciate u asking, here's the gist:

The terms exclusionist and inclusionist are another example of Tumblr/Twitter trying to put people into categories of GOOD and bad, similar to the usage of anti/proshipper.

It's impossible to put people into binary categories, the usage of "Good" vs. "Bad" never works in any given context. This is also why having a gender binary doesn't work. Humans are very complex!

Now, that being said, this statement should not inherently tell people that I am an 'exclusionist'. That leap of logic does not make sense. Nowhere are the words "Asexuals are not LBGT" (which, to my understanding, is the main signifier of an 'exclusionist) anywhere present on my page or my posts.

That's all I said!

(If you want something deeper than my surface-level thoughts, feel free to click the read-more. I appreciate you asking for clarification.)

What do I believe then, if the terms "inclusionist" and "exclusionist" are overused and continuously abused in Tumblr/Twitter discourse spheres?

It's a nuanced situation. That means both sides are fucking stupid. The notion that inclusionists are DA GOOD GUYS and exclusionists are DA BAD GUYS makes the whole discourse pointless and completely antithetical to what the ace community should be focusing on.

Asexuals are people just like the rest of us. The need to consistently belittle them and claim that they do not exist has been tiring ever since the term first became popular/known in leftist circles. Many people do not feel sexual attraction, and there should absolutely be a conversation to teach others that sex is not the end all be all for a lot of people. The topic of "Sex or No Sex" shouldn't be something people actively care about.

//CW BELOW: r slur, CSA mention, heavy subject matter//

Here is a bit of personal information I feel comfortable sharing now.

I distinctly remember feeling very ostracized as a teen. (FOR MANY REASONS, but for this point, I'm specifically on the subject of sex/sexuality.) Everyone around me was falling prey to the horror that is heterosexuality and society's expectations of sex and the exploitation of young girls.

I actively did not feel sexual attraction at an age many of my peers did. I remember arguing back and forth with my dad in 2014 that there was a small community of people online that didn't feel sexual attraction, both boys and girls, and he called me r*tarded, saying that every man wants to have sex, and every girl wants sex with men. I was mortified by what he said to me. It stuck with me long after that conversation. At this time, I already knew my dad was a sexual predator who had no problem ruining my life, so it makes sense why at first the asexual community resonated with me.

//CW end//

From the time I was 15 to about 20, I considered myself asexual to a specific degree. I was a sex-repulsed ace for many years. I remember IDing as demi as a teen, back when I was stuck in MOGAI hell, and later in my life, I focused more on the bigger LGBT labels, searching for the perfect fit.

Eventually, I grew up and realized it was no one's fucking business how I personally felt about sex and what my relationship to it was. Ace is a modifier label to me. When I realized I was a lesbian who had been ashamed of my attraction to women and nonbinary people I was literally euphoric. That was the most important thing to me. Being able to have lesbian sex was literally more healing than anything else in the fuckin world.

Sex is a really fucking personal thing, and when I hit 21 years old I stopped giving a shit about acecourse. I'm on my own now and I got bills to pay and shit to do.

Even though I personally don't think being ace makes me intrinsically LGBT, I'm smart enough to understand that most who ID as ace are also queer in some way. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

----

Now the biggest reason why I stopped associating with the worst fucking discourse-ridden community on Tumblr.

There are a group of asexuals that have been some of the most tone-deaf, obnoxious, bigoted pieces of shit I've ever seen on the internet. The push amongst this very specific portion of aces on the internet to demonize sex completely, lump the LGBT community (a community that is largely filled with people who are, you guessed it, not asexual) with cishets solely on the basis that they are 'Sex Havers' (which is... extremely weird and invasive in general), consistently harassing lesbians and leaving them out of any sort of pride posts/merch, and misusing terms like TERF (a term that should ONLY be used when talking about transmisogynistic radical feminists.... an actual fascist hate group that has caused the real deaths of real women), is not something other aces should be actively supporting, and it should not be up to your fellow LGBTs to teach you shit you should already know. ESPECIALLY if you're fucking white and your main target of harassment is against black and brown people. You got all that time to bitch about shit and somehow no time to reblog a person of colors donation post. Okay.

I'm way past the point of giving a fuck, so please, if you disagree with any of my points, gladly grow up and leave my page. I shouldn't have to hide my thoughts to please a small minority of idiots on the internet. I'm too fucking old for this and so are y'all.

[spectorbarnes]

If You Leave Me Now | Part 11

Summary: You realized your marriage with your husband Henry had run its course when you discovered his affair. You wanted to leave him but not without giving Henry a little taste of his own medicine involving his preferred mechanic Sebastian.

Pairings: mechanic!sebastian stan x reader, husband!henry cavill x reader

masterlist

A/N: I FINALLY UPDATED THIS! I know. Thank you all for being so patient, I love you all!

The sun shined on a new day that started with the Cavill family throwing a cook-out party. Henry’s siblings bonded over a playful game of rugby in the back yard with the kids running around their fathers and uncles trying to play. You could see the game from the kitchen where you helped out your lovely mother-in-law with a traditional Trifle. 

Outside Henry crouched to meet his younger nephew at eye level and grinned before he playfully attacked him with tickles until he released his grip on the ball.

“Could you please pass the berries, hon?” Henry’s mother asked you. Startled, you reached for the bowl and handed it over. 

“Of course,” you smiled. You continued to slice strawberries, occasionally returning your gaze at Henry. 

“He’s a natural father isn’t he?” 

“What?” You asked, caught by surprise. Henry’s mother gave you an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, darling. Henry told me you two are trying to have a child.”

“We are,” you did your best to fake a smile. She wrapped her arms around you.

“You’re going to be great parents!” She squeezed you tightly. You felt her small arms around you. Her reaction might have been a little overboard, it was almost as if you told her you were pregnant. Which made you scan the room to see if anyone was nearby.

Henry walked in the kitchen with his niece in his arms and his nephew trailing behind. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of you and his mother embracing in the middle of the kitchen. 

You shook your head at him and mouthed, “We’re fine”.

“Uncle Henry! Pick me up too!” The small child tugged on the bottom of his shirt.

His mother pulled away from you, realizing Henry was in the room. She held her hand out, signaling him to join you. 

Henry swooped him up with his free arm and walked over to join you both. You took your niece from his arms to ease up the load. 

“Mom,” Henry wrapped his arm around her. You turned to see Henry’s mom wiping tears from her face. 

“I’m just so happy you two found each other.” She sniffed.

You exchanged a glance with Henry. In the moment you looked into Henry’s eyes, you couldn’t understand why you felt so comfortable like home. 

It was like meeting Henry for the first time a few years ago. You didn’t want to open up your heart to another man after the last one had ripped it to pieces. But Henry was there, waiting for you to let him in. To let him love you the way you deserved. 

If someone had told you, you would marry the man 

It all felt natural. 

But of course, you were falling in love with Henry all over again. 

━━━━━━━━

It was early morning, after a typical Saturday night of Chris and a few old college friends who bar hopped around the city for a few good laughs and drinks. 

This time, however, Chris wasn’t laughing and was completely sober.

There were a few times in the past when he invited his roommate to join him and his buddies. Of course it wasn’t his roommate’s ideal night. He preferred working extra hours or ordering delivery at home, but being the responsible roommate and friend he was, he also preferred being the designated driver of a couple drunken Bostonians. 

Tonight the roles changed. Sebastian was the one drinking the night away. Chris’ friends had never seen this side of Sebastian, and neither did Chris, but the last couple of days, Sebastian drank alcohol as if it were warm milk. 

Chris knew what the reason was behind the drinking. Correction, he knew who was the reason.

“Another round!” Sebastian slammed the empty bottle on the edge of the pool table. Chris’s friends cheered.

Chris hated his friends for encouraging the behavior as much as he hated Sebastian accepting their invitation. 

Initially, Chris turned his friends down, thinking Sebastian would not dare to join them without their mutual friend. But after Chris saw Sebastian grab his jacket and wallet, Chris knew he had to join and keep an eye on him. 

Sebastian didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts because he would think of you. And when he thought of you he knew you were in England with Henry doing what wife and husband do.

Alcohol numbed his body and his mind. He didn’t want to be thinking about Henry’s hands on you, touching you, pleasing you in ways that couldn’t compare to him. 

To Sebastian, letting you in his life might have been a big mistake, but it was a glorious mistake. There would be nights where he would make you his but you could never really be his.

“Alright, that’s enough.” Chris grabbed the beer bottle Sebastian had in his hand and took it from him before he took another sip. “I’m taking you home.”

“I’m fine here. You can leave, you’re killing the mood anyways.” Sebastian struggled to move his lips.

“Look at yourself, you’re slurring your words and you can’t even stand up,” Chris said. Sebastian looked down, realizing he had been leaning his whole body against the pool table.

“We’re getting the fuck out of here, now.” Chris signaled his friends from across the room. He then grabbed Sebastian’s arm and put it around his neck, carrying him out of the bar.

Chris reached his car, sat him down on the passenger seat and buckled him in before walking around and getting in the driver’s seat.

He had to figure out a way to save his friend, figure out a way to have him get over you and move on with his life.

Chris turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared. Sebastian looked over at Chris’s worried face as his eyelids fluttered. He needed to say something before he could no longer keep his eyes from closing.

“Chris, I’m sorry.’” He muttered.

“I’m sorry too, Seb.”

━━━━━━━━

You entered the walk-in the closet, stripping out of your day clothes and changing into your silk pajamas for the night. 

Henry was shirtless, tucked in bed watching you change from the half-open door. You walked out of the closet, catching his stare.

“You know, today reminded me of the first time I brought you home to meet them,” Henry said. 

“How so?” You asked, walking around the bed to reach your side.

“My mom loved you before you even met her. She had a good feeling about you and you were both really close when you met. Your friendship felt natural.” He said. You gave Henry a smile. “But, you were just as nervous as that first time. Why?”

He was right. Henry could read you like a book, he might be wrong at times but you were just as nervous visiting his family as the first time.

“All this baby talk has been getting to my head.” You lied, climbing in the bed. 

Your thoughts revolved around Sebastian ignoring your phone calls throughout most of the Europe trip. Seeing Henry’s family reminded you of what you did, of course your husband was no victim because he too cheated on you. However, you felt your guilt weigh more than Henry’s did.

“They would be more than happy to be grandparents again,” Henry responded. “Especially from me, since I am my mother’s favorite.” He joked.

Henry rolled over to his side, bending his arm to hold his head up. You waited for him to say something. There were a few silent moments in between your gazes before he called you by your full name. 

“Yes?” You muttered. He lifted the bed covers from your bodies before rolling over you, spreading your legs apart to fit between them and press his upper torso against your stomach.

He continued to speak while looking into your eyes.

The first words were strange yet familiar, your eyebrows furrowed until you realized he was reciting his written wedding vows.

“What are you-?” You pondered, Henry interrupted with something you never thought you would hear.

“I’m sorry,” He said. “I’m sorry for what I’ve done.” Your eyes widened, realizing Henry might be coming clean.

“What have you done?” You asked. 

“I’ve hurt you,” He started. “I’ve been distant, focusing more on work rather than focusing on you, my wife.”

“And?” You asked, waiting for him to continue.

“I’m sorry.” Henry said. You closed your eyes in defeat. “This trip is a clean slate,” he continued, “I’m going to be the husband you deserve from now on. The husband I should have been for a while now. Every mistake I’ve made is done with.”

You opened your eyes to see him and his serious facial expression.

Of course, Henry was talking about his affair. He just couldn’t come clean and say it out loud. He didn’t think you knew about it, and he didn’t want you to find out because once you did he knew he would lose you. But he was serious about it. He didn’t want anything to do with his now ex-lover. 

You thought he meant the affair, but it was hard to tell. Henry was a businessman, of course he knew how to deal with people without fully telling the truth but not lying about it either. 

“It’s a clean slate for both of us, any mistakes you might have made are included too.”

Your heart stopped. Did he know about Sebastian?

Henry pressed his lips against yours, giving you a soft, tender kiss. His mouth traveled along your jaw and down the valley of your chest. His hands grabbing your silk gown before pushing it up your body. 

“Henry,” You had to get clarification.

“Shh.” He continued to kiss your body, touching your breasts as he traveled further down your body. His fingers found your silk shorts, shoving them down your pants before teasing your center through your panties.

Your hips jolted, getting closer to his touch. You felt his lips form into a grin on your navel as he lightly grazed his teeth against your skin.

He pushed your panties to the side and inserted a finger, pumping it in and out of you. You slid down the pile of pillows behind you and arched your back when he added a second finger. 

You couldn’t believe you wanted him and you wanted him badly. Words of encouragement slipped out of his lips, making you bite your bottom lip in order to stop sounds from escaping you.

“Don’t hold back,” he ordered. “We’re the only ones in this house and the nearest neighbors are kilometres away.”

You let a moan of pleasure escape you, followed by an even louder one when Henry’s member entered you. He slowly pumped in and out of you, you preferred a quicker pace but Henry insisted it felt better when you got to enjoy every inch. Your nails scratched his back as you begged him not to stop. 

Henry looked down at your blissed face, remembering how similar your current reaction was on your first night. Henry was your first. He remembered how he found your innocence endearing. 

You placed his hands on his chest, nudging him you were close, he leaned down to whisper in your ear and with one, four-letter word you were gone.

Henry wasn’t far behind, filling you up as you came down from your high. His body fell, exhausted from keeping himself from ramming into you.

If this worked out, he would want to remember the night he conceived his child as a slow night of love making instead of ravenous sex. He pulled out of you, wrapping his arms around you and pulled you against his chest.

The last thing you heard before falling into sleep was Henry muttering how much he loved you. You tried to mutter it back, although he didn’t hear it completely, he knew what you meant. He spent the next few hours watching you sleep. Which was later interrupted by your phone ringing in the morning. Chris’s name popped up on the screen. 

Henry picked up the phone, squinting at the name on the screen. He couldn’t remember a Chris from anywhere. He declined the phone call sending it to voice mail, then deleting the incoming call from the call history.

“Clean slate,” He muttered to himself, “Clean slate.”

[xxisxxisxxis]

Deleted Scenes: Gateway Drug

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.

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"More Than One Way to Get to Hell" -- 1986

"Tansy, come on, now we don't have all damn day to get this finished." Diane calls from the other side of the door while I'm grasping Tansy's shaking hand while she adds finishing sprays of hairspray to her curls. 

"Tansy," I start. 

"C-Can you hand me my purse?" She asks me softly and I nod, handing the little black purse to her. 

She pulls an unlabeled bottle out, opening the lid and pouring two pills into her palm. 

"Tansy--"

"--I overdid it on coke earlier, Viv, if I don't calm my shit I'm gonna embarrass myself on national television." 

"Tansy!" Her mom barks. 

She takes the pills and swallows them down with her juice, standing up and walking to her dressing room door. 

"Thank fuck, come on." Her mom tugs at her arm to take her to the sound tech and he hooks her up to her mic. 

"Mama, I'm nervous." She takes harbored breaths. 

"No need to be nervous, Tansy. You're just interacting with a man in front of a camera. Let's not pretend you don't do the same thing every night." She mumbles to her and I glare at her mother, horrified. 

"I feel like I'm gonna puke." Tansy says next. 

"No, no, look at me." Diane looks her in the eyes. "You are not going to screw this up. You are going to go out there and get more exposure to get more people talking about you, to get more offers, to get more money. We do what has to be done to get what we want, and what we have to do isn't always what we want to do, but--" 

"--But it has to be done." Tansy finishes for her, defeated. 

"Exactly." She says to Tansy, fixing her smudged lipstick. "You already embarrass me on a daily basis, Tansalyn, and you will not embarrass me today. Not over this." She demands.

"Our first guest is a well-known model to men, and some women, here in America. In a span of just four years she has appeared in 56 issues of Playboy and counting, declared the magazine's most consistent model, was very recently announced as 'Playmate of the Year: Miss 1985,' and was the muse for the 1983 Def Leppard hit, 'Photograph.' With no sign of slowing down anytime soon--not that any of us want her to--please, give a very warm welcome to the very beautiful, Tansy Lyn." 

Tansy takes a heavy breath inward, and I give her a smile. 

"You got this, go." I assure her and she nods, holding back tears, seemingly programming her mind into autopilot, a scarily convincing, beaming smile on her face as she steps out, waving at the audience. 

I watch her on the monitor, and my heart breaks. 

She deserves an Oscar. 

Diane watches, too, evaluating her in her mind. 

"How are you?" David asks Tansy, kissing her cheek before the two sit down. 

"I'm good." Tansy replies, crossing one leg over the other. "Hi, everyone." She waves again to the crowd and they whistle and cheer. 

"Now, when they told me you'd be on, um, I did some fact checking, as one does for an interview," he starts. 

"Okay." She replies. 

"And I want to get the record straight on your name, because I've heard Tansy Lyn, and I've heard Tansalyn, which the second option is just a mouthful so…"

"Well, my nickname is Tansy and originally my name was supposed to be Tansy and my middle name was supposed to be Lyn."

"Don't you dare." Her mother sneers quietly to the monitor. 

"But my dad had been drinking a little bit when my mom's water broke and so when it came to naming me, they had decided on Tansy Lyn Reilen, but my mom was in recovery, resting, and my dad couldn't write very well because he was drunk and so he asked a nurse for help and she asked him what my name was going to be so she could write it in herself, and he said 'Tansy Lyn,' little did he realizing he was slurring. So my legal name is Tansalyn." 

"Oh, my God." Diane squeezes her eyes shut. 

"And you reworked it to Tansy Lyn." 

"Yes." 

He tries not to laugh, but the audience doesn't hold back, not that she minds at all. 

"Wow, well, Tansalyn, I know you're busy and so the fact you were able to be here really means a lot, so thank you, again, for being here. Although I'm not so sure it was too far out of the way for you." 

"No, no, not at all." She assures him. 

"Because you live here, don't you?" He asks. "Or are you back in L.A.?" 

"I mainly live here, and then I go back home often to visit and stuff if I don't have work." She explains. 

"And you work a lot." He states. 

"Not that much but--" 

She quits talking when he raises his brows, making the audience laugh. 

"You don't work that much? Are you kidding me?" He leans down and grabs a magazine, holding it up on the desk for the camera and crowd to see. "This is you in your first issue of Playboy." He tells her, flipping through it to find her picture.

"Oh, Lord." She groans before he shows the audience. "Can you do that?!" She asks next, as her naked body is on display, but the monitor shows her bare chest blurred out. 

"Now, this was October of '83, and how old were you when this was taken?" 

"Just turned 18." She explains, her face turning slightly red under her makeup. 

"18, and since then," he starts piling on more and more magazines and men throughout the crowd yell and clap and whistle, Tansy tightly closing her eyes and chuckling nervously, "you've gotten Miss July of '85." He puts that issue aside, before grabbing a final one from the top of the tower of Playboys. "And this is the more recent one, your shoot for 'Miss 1985'." He says next, grabbing several magazines at once and putting them back behind his desk before sitting down and holding it up to show her on the cover. "Absolutely beautiful." He comments. 

"They edit and airbrush and everything but thank you anyways." She exhales, rubbing her lips together. 

"Well, we don't have editing and airbrush and everything in person and I'm telling you, you are a very pretty woman." He assures her and she smiles. 

"Thank you." She replies. 

"So, you started only four and half-ish years ago, and you've been in every issue since then?" He asks and she nods. 

"Yes. Some form or fashion I've been in every one." 

"But you don't work a lot." He reminds her what she said earlier, sarcastically.

"I meant no model works a regular 9 to 5." She clarifies. 

"Got it, got it." He puts the magazine down. "It couldn't be like a 9 to 5 because when else would you all  find the time to go out and party with rockstars?"

"Not all of us party with rockstars." I assure him. 

"So this isn't you?" He holds up a picture with Tansy, Robin Crosby, Nikki, and Jon Bon Jovi. 

"I didn't say I didn't party with them, I said not all models do." She explains while he and the audience chuckles. 

"Now, I know, I think, this fella is Jovi." David points to Jon and she nods. "The rest my mind blanks on." 

"Jon, who's obviously sings for Bon Jovi, and then Robbin Crosby, he plays guitar for Ratt, and then Nikki Sixx, who plays bass for--"

"--The Church of Satan's worship team." David cuts her short and she laughs, along with the audience. 

"No, no. No." She states. "Mötley Crüe." 

"Ah, tomato, tomoto." He shrugs and she shakes her head a little. 

"What was happening here?" He asks, referring to the photo and the camera zooms in on it. 

"I think, honestly, Nikki paid rent on time for once and just invited a bunch of people over to celebrate it." She explains. 

"So, there doesn't need to be a reason to drink and party and 'what not' when you're a rockstar." 

"Not really, no."

"When do these guys have time to write songs, then?" 

"I've seen them buckle down and get to work when they need to."

"Really?" 

"Yeah." 

"And you buckle down, too, obviously."

"Well, I--"

"--I want to know what your boyfriend thinks of all of this." He says next and she raises her brows. 

"Oh, he loves it." She tells him. 

"I bet he does." 

"No, really, he does, he's very proud." She continues.

"He isn't jealous or anything like that?" 

"To an extent but he understands that this is my job and I've always wanted to do it since I was a little girl and so he supports me completely." She nervously scratches at the back of her neck with her freshly done nails. 

"You've always wanted to model nude since you were little?" Letterman asks for clarification and she looks slightly stumped by the question, opening her mouth to speak, but nothing coming out. 

"Speak, Tansy, damnit." Her mom whispers to herself. 

Tansy starts laughing off her shock. 

"Modeling in general." She tells him. 

"Oh, oh, good." He grins. "So, your mother is here with you, Diane."

"Yes." 

"She's so lovely." He says and she smiles. 

"Thank you, she is. I love her to death." 

"She seems very...um…focused." He adds. 

"Very much. She keeps me in check, she always has."

"Oh, I bet. Were you ever in sports or anything like that?" 

"I cheered in high school, and did competitive cheer-nastics, and competed in beauty pageants--not that that's a sport but just to give you an idea of where she learned to keep her thumb on me to keep me in line." 

"That's where I was getting at because she very much seems like the type to keep your eyes on the prize." 

"Oh, yes." 

"What does she think of your career as of now?" 

"She's my manager so I don't think she has any qualms with what I do because if she did she wouldn't be as involved." She shifts her legs. 

That was an understatement. 

I realized over years of witnessing her mother contribute to the toxic shitshow starring Tansy as the lead, that I didn't quite know Tansy's mom as well as I had thought. 

I'd later find out things such as this…

"Competition is in two weeks and you call that a front tuck? Tansy, I've seen drag queens do better than that." 

...And this…

"You being first runner up in a pageant full of sand lizards and beached whales is the reason your father drowned in his own vomit."

"I was five when he died, mom." 

"And eleven years later you're still proving you aren't worth the money I spend to make you a winner." 

…Also…

"He knocked that slut Tami up, didn't he?" 

"I don't want to talk about it, Mama." 

"Just say 'yes' or 'no' so I can know whether I won my bet on it or not." 

...And...

"I slept with your ex-boyfriend, Tansy, big deal." 

"He was the love of my life, Mama, what the hell were you thinking?!" 

"Oh, Jesus, he was with you for two years, Tansy, get over yourself. It's not like it would have lasted to begin with."

"Seriously?!"

"You would've eventually found out I was giving him blowjobs when he'd come over to see you, anyway, because if I didn't do it, it wouldn't have gotten done right. Now wipe those damn crocodile tears." 

…Last but not least…

"I wouldn't stay with a man who let his friends abuse me, you know. I don't know why you're too weak to just leave him."

"Because he said it's not gonna happen again, mom. Just drop i--ow! What the hell?!" 

"I told you last time I slapped the piss out of you it wouldn't happen again. Just because he says it doesn't mean a thing…ugh, and quit wearing so much goddamn makeup. I'm tired of my palm being covered in gunk every time. And quit crying. You can pose with your pussy out but God forbid you handle a little corporal punishment." 

Tansy's rehab therapist had her work cut out for her...for sure. 

"And your dad?" David questions next.

"He passed when I was five, so…"

"...I'm sorry to hear that." 

"No, don't be. I'm sure he's proud of me. I know that might be hard to believe for some dads, like, your daughter being in Playboy, but he'd always told me I could always do whatever it was I wanted to do with my dreams and even if he's not proud of what I'm doing, he's definitely proud of me going after and achieving what it was that I wanted." 

[thurisazsalail]

I’m tired of ‘leftist’ anti-intellectualism and America-centric xenophobia posing as liberalism.

Protip: If you are anti-academia on subjects of culture not being taught by someone genetically from that culture, even if they know nothing about the culture they are talking about and have never participated in it and were never raised with it... over someone who actually does have a background in knowledge from people of that culture who lived in it and were raised in it... you might actually be the imperialist you are talking about fighting against. You might actually be silencing the people you think you are elevating through deplatforming actual sources from the cultural background talked about, artificially holding up someone with the right genes but no heritage or ties. You might want appearance over substance to be a “good person.” Rethink your views on academia. Think critically. What sources is a person using? Does a person talk about Africa like it's a country and not a continent (ew), or does the person have a list of resources about specific cultures as spoken about by the people from those cultures? Do they make effort in finding anyone from that culture to present or speak in class, if possible? Do they show videos of those people, which are not denigrating to them? Did the person work hard to find resources for you in a language you understand, or did they work to translate for you? Or are their resources some old white dude from 200 years ago, like using the Budge translations for (ancient) Egyptian? Did they quote Fiona Graham or Liza Dalby on geisha? Because of those people is a damn liar who took a fucktonne of money and prestige from an ailing geisha house and ran, and one actually trained as an anthropologist who spent time in Pontocho, where they knew exactly what she was there for and they suggested she debuted as a geisha to better understand them. Does the person gloss over issues like war or genocide? Or do they say, "Yeah, we should probably talk about that. In fact, you can use some example from recent history to understand the attitudes a bit better. Here they are, and here are some differences. Here are some further reading (and if available, video) sources, including from the groups that got really fucked over." If you SAY you are into historybounding (taking historical elements in your wardrobe and making it ‘new’ fashion) and you want to make the frilly French dresses and the London fog coats, but don't ever want to talk about how people eventually used the Versailles floors as a latrine because of the decadence and wanton wealth they collapsed into... and how the common people suffered because of it... Or how England discriminated against it's own people heavily, relegating Jewish English people to certain neighbourhoods or refused jobs to them, or treated the Moorish-descent like shit, or actively would beat the Irish in public and stole their land... you might not be into history or culture. You might just like looking at the pretty things and copying them. You know. Probably culturally appropriating (if not borderline doing so). Not just "history bounding." People in a marginalised group often have to learn things about our own groups’ history, or else we might see "Stonewall" and believe that a white guy threw the first brick, or that "queer" is a slur. Our own people, gasp, might have to learn from... academia. And strangely, I know, it's so weird, but some of the people who teach... use primary sources (that’s sources from the time/place/people the source talks about, like Gay Manifesto written by gay man Carl Wittman)... or are closeted about being experts on the subjects... because they are talking about their own groups and STILL face discrimination and might lose those precious jobs if they are out... and they're just not identifiable by your *outsider* standards. And sorry, but if you don't know your own history, yes, you are an outsider in that sense. Yeah, I can trace some of my family lineage to Turtle Tribe Seneca. But I am an outsider because the only reservation I've ever been on is the one to Olive Garden. I might have to *gasp* turn to actual knowledgeable people to learn something about that. I can't just dress up in whatever or do whatever and say, "No, it's okay! My great-grandmother is Seneca!" and then claim not knowing better because my heritage was stolen by federal American laws. That's not how that works. There is some tentative evidence that some of my family was Jewish before hiding it and coming to America in the late 1930s. But I still have to go through an official conversion process. I still have to learn Jewish history and Jewish culture, and about Jewish diaspora issues. That’s how it works. If you are Japanese in Japan, same thing applies to certain things. Like if you are performing tea ceremony with your school, you can’t just wander in to most of them with whatever pretty kimono you want. There are rules for that. It is a language, not just a dress. You will be sent home. If you don’t want to adhere to those rules, you will not be accepted. That’s how it works. It sucks, totally. But welcome to real life. You might have to actually work at things... Including managing your feelings and not making other people responsible for them. You might have to take responsibility AND bury your ego long enough to learn from educated people. One tip is... Question sources! That was my biggest gripe ten years ago! Plenty of books about Japanese culture, and all of them with lots of white people (white according to American-centric ideas about whiteness) writing the narrative! I had to work to find books about Japanese social ideas written by Japanese authors. You might have to work, too, and not blame other people for not just *handing you shit.* But in the end, accept that other people might know more than you and that is isn't about being Uppity by nature. It's also about "I have all this, you want some?"

If you don't want to learn, then you have to leave the classroom. You can't be a child, throwing a temper tantrum. You're a grown-up. But don't just assume by someone's face that you magically already know how things will be. Ask for a list, a syllabus, a source, a curriculum vitae. That should give you some insight on what to expect. Ask for clarification. Oh, this class is teaching Arthur Conan Doyle? WHAT are they teaching about him, specifically? Erasure isn’t the answer, here. That legacy still exists.

Stick to a scope: you can't fit six books of info in one hour. You need to stay focused. That's part of learning. No "whaddabouts?" Yes, write them down and message them in! But they might not be for this specific post, lecture, or class. The class might need a thing right then, like when my Humanities prof decided that Britain just "had a skirmish" with Benin. No, they committed genocide because Benin refused to become a colony of England, and you need to know that RIGHT NOW while the class is happening, before the moment is gone or internalized. But if you have a side comment about what happened to diaspora in WW2 once they moved to Hawaii and Brazil, the focus of the class might be on experiences *in Japan* and not on diaspora. Email it. It might become another class. There isn't time for that right now. That doesn't mean the prof hates diaspora Japanese. It doesn't mean diaspora don't matter. It just means that the class is limited in focus and time, and right now, the focus isn't on diaspora. Don't make a big dramatic deal about it. Instead, idk, maybe write a well-sourced paper on diaspora experiences while fleeing hostile Showa-era takeover and release it publicly. You can just... do that. I've done that with transcripts for movies that don't have them, for essays on various topics. You can even get paid for that content! No one had to "approve" me. I put it on fucking Tumblr so everyone could have it. Open-source means something. jfc people. Stop whining. Start having open conversations instead of shutting anything new or different down. Stop the anti-intellectualism disguised as liberalism. Stop the xenophobia and nativism disguised as cultural protection. It's great when a culture decides for itself that most people (from that culture) don't want foreign interaction or interference! Leave them the fuck alone! It isn’t hard! Some cultures are closed. Some are semi-closed, like there’s certain things you can learn about or participate in but others are only for people from that background. But don't get mad when a totally different culture doesn't care or uses it for leverage. You don’t get to dismiss a different culture or denigrate them under the guise of “protecting” other POC by erasing them. And if your excuse is (Culture/group) is imperialistic/all people of ____ descent/race are _____ DUDE FIRST OF ALL WTF and second of all, let me tell you something about American history. French history. English history. There are some nuanced conversations we COULD have here, like adults. Or you could just be honest and say, “This isn’t a conversation I’d like to have right now.” That’s totally fine. Sometimes you just don’t have the spoons or time. I often don’t, being disabled. Or you could shut down like a child and say that this is fine but then mute all posts until you get your way, and anyone who posts an actual source is wrong or bad because intellectuals and experts are suspicious. Your choice. Real life is complicated. Figure it out instead of trying to reduce hard things to a box to fit in easily. Expand your world past your little tiny experiences in your own country and background. Stop assuming every fucking thing in the world works like it does in America. Stop approving/disapproving of any information that doesn’t match up with your American morality or experiences- there are *other people* that deal with things other ways than we do. Stop wholesale condemning anyone better informed than you just because of your ego. Start using some of those critical thinking skills you are supposed to have. If you don’t know how, type “critical thinking development” into youtube for tutorials. -------- Edit: hahaha I KNEW that Tumblr deleted something when it highlighted it. I just couldn’t figure out what at the time. The difference between Graham and Dalby: one worked in Pontocho as a geisha for research, and they knew that ahead of time; Graham lied her ass off to geisha and then tried to open her own house after taking only a few lessons to get famous and make a lot of money. She’s a fucking embarrassment and worse. --------------- Update 11/3 Turns out that dig I made about French costuming (a perennial fave in historybounding and historical sewing groups) and imperialism wasn’t all that far off... here’s a whole ass thread about how many fucking African presidents and leaders France has specifically killed, and how much France has done to just Africa relatively recently. That’s JUST to Africa. I bet some of my Mi’kMaq and Algonquin-descent friends would have some things to say about heritage erasure regarding the French.  https://thurisazsalail.tumblr.com/post/633807847387512832

[leah-halliwell92]

The Eyes Have It

@sujusfs14499​ requested number 4 “God, your eyes are so gorgeous.” (She got long I’m sorry lol)

You couldn’t help your giddiness as adjusted your semi-casual burgundy dress a few minutes before 6. You were getting ready to not only go to dinner but a play at the Old Globe. Severus said that if they caught the viewing he had planned there would be a chance for dinner. 

You had been surprised when Severus made his way into the apothecary on the a day you were working the counter, his days are usually those you’re not in. In school you’d been his best friend, class partner (when Lily wasn’t his chosen), his champion and confidante. You’d tried to be as close to him as he’d let you and without seeming like you were a lost puppy trailing after him like he’d been doing with Lily.

Not being the last one was easier said than done, but you’d done it and it served to kick James Potter in the arse hard enough for him to realize that not everything was as it seemed. Rumor had it that during fourth year, he’d gotten it into his head that he was going to prove Sev is as evil as the rest of his house. He’d sworn he was going to once and for all expose Sev for queen and country to see and quote, “Maybe then Lily will dump him as the rat he is”. This is how you heard he’d taken time during the Christmas hols to follow Sev home.

Needless to say James got more than what he bargained for when he found where Sev lived. You knew James ever the full of himself Gryffindor thought he’d find a well off half-blood maybe pureblood from a well off family, with a past of blood supremacy., literally anything that wasn’t anywhere close to what the reality of it all was. James had cornered you upon returning to school looking like a mad man demanding to know if what he’d witnessed was true. At the time you’d not known he’d gone as far as to look for actual reason to pick on Sev more than he already did. You could still remember it.

//Flashback//

“Is it true!?” James demanded.

“Is what true? What the hell could I have that you want Potter!?” You asked struggling against the grip he had on your arm.

“Have I just been making his life doubly difficult...” he said voice breaking, “Have I truly taken it to a point where an abused child cannot find sanctuary away from his hell.”

Your eyes widened as you realized what it is he wants clarification on.

“Tell me!” He yelled in begging manner, “Please...tell me I didn’t ruin a man’s life over rumors and baseless assumptions. Please...please...”

You sigh and say, “Your jealousy and brashness is what got you into this mess. You let your belief that learning about something anything makes them a bad person.”

In a very uncharacteristic display of character for him, he fell to his knees sobs wrecking his tall frame as the realization that all the “good” he thought he was doing was actually all for naught. 

“If I were someone else I’d rub in the fact that Perfect James Potter valued seeker for Gryffindor and Prince of the Light bullied a child for being different,” you said voice cold causing him to flinch, “Not everyone who studies the dark arts is evil or are bound to become evil for studying something that interests them. Has it ever occurred to you that if the dark arts weren't studied we wouldn’t have the counters we have to help heal them? Or that potions to heal or treat without proper research done on dark curses?”

James looked ashamed and clearly at a loss. He'd finally come to the realization that he’d tormented an innocent for close to four years over nothing, just a need to learn and escape. Now that he knew the truth he didn’t know how he’d fix it or if it there was a way for him to make peace.

“What can I do to make amends?” He asked you pleadingly.

“I think that should be obvious to you,” you said crossing your arms.

He nodded to himself and said, “I know I need to stop with my actions and egging Padfoot onto continuing his own abuse.”

You nod sort of impressed but not believing he meant what he was saying.

“Maybe after a while,” he said voice low, “I can’t try to apologize.”

You nod and say, “Don’t think or believe he’ll forgive you. And do keep in mind you’ve been you've been chasing after his only friend.”

“Lily,” he said shock in his eyes, “They...”

“He loves her,” you said with a small smile on your face.

“And you him,” he said plainly.

“But this isn’t about me,” you said angrily, “So don’t you go thinking you can do to me what you’ve been doing to him. Believe you me James Potter I’ll get expelled before you go hurting me the way you did and have been doing to him. And for all the love and peace in the world, please don’t tell him how you or why you all of the sudden stopped...you won't like his response.”

He nodded and did even went as far as to promise that he’d do his best to keep Sirius in line along with Remus...the fact that he’d from the very beginning told them to leave Sev alone in the first place not withstanding. 

You heaved multiple sighs of relief the day he walked in talking animately with Remus about something. Sev told to you about how James defended him against Sirius for the first two months of the new half term. How surprised and suspicious he was but then they got to the point of being civil with each other. You hoped that it wasn't too late for some form of friendship to blossom from this. She hoped the attacks just in time to keep him from spiraling down a hole he might not be able to get himself out of. 

Sev had even introduced you to Lily! You’d wanted to size up your “competition” for a while, you’d known you weren’t anything compared to the great Lily Evans. It stung to see why it is Sev looked head over heels for her...she’s lovely to look at, she’s smart, ambitious and hard working. Not to mention they practically grew up together. 

You remembered how as the years progressed his eyes would light up at the mention of Lily his heart practically on his sleeve. You’d made it clear to him, after befriending Lily, that her love for him might not be as he wants it to be. It had taken a bit but a sit down between him and Lily revealed the warnings you’d given him...this brought to you by Lily then by James who’d been told by both Lily and Sev what had happened. 

It had gutted Sev the day James went to him as Lily’s ‘brother’ to ask for permission to court/date her. But he wanted Lily safe so he said yes to James leaving him with a warning that she’s stubborn enough to beat him should James have ulterior motives. 

You’d had a feeling that Severus had hope for her to see him even while she was with James. Hope even when she’d accepted James’ permission to court her as the purebloods of their world do. You’d drifted some from Sev in the hope that you moved on from your crush on him to no avail...

//Present Day//

The years that proceeded all the way to seventh year went by quietly if not for the whining of one Sirius Black when the second half of the school year really kicked off. Despite his trepidation, Severus took to this change in stride. After some time walking on eggshells he’d been approached by Remus to join him and James for study group one Wednesday. He’d approached you about and you tried to be as supportive as yo could without revealing why they’d approached him in the first peace offerings in hand. 

You laughed at the occurrence and remembered the time when he met you in the astronomy tower piss drunk. You’d been sitting taking notes for your class when Severus wound up and plopped himself next to you. Some slurred sweet words later and you somehow found yourself with his head on your lap your fingers brushing through his hair. And you don’t remember how it happened but somehow he’d gone from laying on your lap to kneeling in front of you his eyes caressing your face tenderly.

“God, your eyes are so gorgeous,” he said and without warning pressed a tender kiss to your lips. 

Despite your shock you’d returned it before they heard the caretaker doing rounds forcing the both of you to go your separate ways. You also remember the long crying session you had in the bathroom when he came to you asking what had happened the day before since he’d woken up with the mother of all hangovers and alcohol induced amnesia. 

You snapped back into reality at the sound of a knock at your door.

You gave yourself a look over to see you were pretty much done aside from jewelry. 

You took the black pear set and made your way to the door as the necklace hooked itself on with a twist of your wrist.

“Good evening Severus,” you said opening the door a bright smile on your face.

He greeted you same as he always did a friendly hug and peck on the cheek before offering his arm for the both of you to leave.

The evening had started off better than you’d expected it to, the evening weather was wonderful and the chosen play happened to be one of your favorites. You were trying in vane to keep your traitorous heart from swooning every time he did or said something, with a voice you were sure should be illegal, that caused your insides to melt and tried to focus on what lay ahead. This is too good to be true...you could feel it in your bones.

The first half of the play went fantastically! It all felt and looked so romantic, like some big gesture would follow at the end of the night...no. That would not happen, not to you and not with him.

As soon as the intermission came about you’d made a mad dash for the loo hoping you had time for a drink of water and a nibble before heading back in. Little did you know that what happens afterward marked the end of what was promising to be a pleasant evening.

You walked out to be met with Severus have what looked to be a very engaging conversation with the ever beautiful Lily Evans. And despite you trying to not fall down the rabbit hole of your feelings for him, it happened anyway and the result is the overwhelming feeling of disappointment and hurt that he’d still chose h is Lily flower over you. Your traitorous brain supplied you with another thought, what if he’d brought you here with him knowing she’d be there? Your heart fell deeper at this, why torture you if he wasn’t interested in you anyway?

��Funny isn’t it?” The voice of James Potter drew you from your thoughts and darkening mood.

“That we meet here by chance?” You asked weakly wrapping your arms around you. Whether it was as a form of comfort or to keep yourself together you didn’t know.

“Well not exactly,” he said cleaning his throat slightly, “I’d let him know that the Globe was hosting a variety of wonderful plays...I never told him which and what night.”

“Mmm,” you said and drew a deep breath. You would make it through the night, you could do this.

“Why is it everyone can see how you clearly still feel for him but him?” James asked honest curiosity in his eyes before he gave you a look over nodding liking what he saw, “Merlin do your eyes look gorgeous. They contrast against your dress beautifully.”

You smiled widely at this and breathed a delighted laugh. At least you looked decent enough for such an event. 

You shrugged at this but before you could say anything the smiling voice of Lily reached your ears.

“I though it was you I saw leaving the hall!”

You forced a smile on your face and greeted your friend tenderly, it wasn’t her fault Severus didn’t see you...like that.

You’d made a point to drop your defensive pose and dropped your hands to your sides. You kept an ear on what she was saying but your eyes wandered to the look of wonder on Sev’s face as he looked at her. Your eyes misted at this...at the realization that he’d never not only see you as a woman but he’d never want you either.

You felt James’ pinky wrap around your giving it a gentle supportive squeeze and calmed some. It wouldn’t do for everyone to see you break down over nothing. 

“We simply must go to dinner after the show,” Lily said smilingly. 

You wanted to flat out refuse but Severus had agreed for the both of you before you could.

“We’d be delighted,” he said charmingly voice soft, “It has been some time since we’ve had a proper catch up.”

You squeezed James’ finger and cleared your throat excusing yourself to the loo once again. 

Once in a stall, you grabbed two squares of toilet paper and carefully pressed it on the corners of your eyes the tears falling and making you feel like stupid child trailing after her best friend and his heart only to be spurned for your attempts. 

You shook with the effort of keeping your sobs from coming out and in a last ditch effort to calm down you placed your head between your knees and concentrated on your breathing. In and out...in and out...in and out.

Once calm you walked out to find yourself face to face with a clearly concerned Lily.

“I’m fine,” you said, sounding stronger than you felt despite the slight tremor in your voice.

“Then why are your eyes red?” She asked knowingly.

You shrug and inspect your miraculously still perfect makeup and said, “Had something in my eye.”

“Thestral shit,” she said, “It’s not like it seemed.”

You looked at her sadly and said, “I know...but the doesn’t mean he suddenly loves you like a brother. Magic can do a lot of things Lils, what it cannot do is interfere with the affairs of the heart.”

She nodded in sad understanding and said, “If you need a cry or to talk you know where to find me.”

You might just have to take her up on that. His greatest love or not she is still your friend. Even if her beau is the one you really need to have a chat with, he is your best friend.

You walked back arm in arm grins on your faces, hers smooth and pretty and yours forced hoping it didn’t look pain filled or worse...a wince.

The men escorted their respective ladies to their seats to finish the play. From the moment you retook your seats, you tried hard to focus on the plot. To lose yourself within the story and for a moment forget who you were sitting next to. Your attempts had proved successful until you felt calloused fingers tenderly grab your hand. Your knee jerk response was to take your hand back, there is after all no point to playing a gracious date on his behalf. The jig as they say, was up. But you left your hand in his, for what reason you didn’t know. Your heart wanted something to remember him by you supposed, but the rest of you was ready to swear at him, hit him and do horrible things just to try and get an answer for the many why's that lay at her feet. 

Why can’t you see me? Why can’t you love me? Why am I not more like Lily? Why can’t I be a ginger?... At least then you’d have something to try and get his attention with. You felt the play to your core as the pivotal point drew near. Your grip tightened some around him as the plot blossomed, your anticipation, for more than just the play, reached new heights. 

By the end of the play you’d forgotten the hurt, which suited you just fine to be able to survive dinner. So much for a date...

You weren't surprised to find James and Lily waiting on you easy smiles on their faces. As you made your way out James, bless him, commented, “If I didn’t know any better I’d have thought this to be a date by the looks of things.”

You felt Severus stiffen, had that not been the idea of this outing?

“Look at that!” Lily said pointing to the small shops that were around pulling you along without much warning.

You turned to look at the boys and froze, James looked like he was ready to commit murder while Severus was as blank and stony faced as ever.

“Face the window and pretend you look interested,” Lily said exaggerating her movements to make it look like they were having an animated conversation. 

You followed lead and said, “Well now I know his real reason for being here.”

Lily shook her shoulders, simulating laughter, and said, “I didn’t tell him James and I would be here tonight. I know James practically gave him a shove in your direction by telling him of what the Globe had in store this week.”

You nodded forcing a bright smile on your face despite the tears that lit up your eyes.

“James told me as much,” you admitted to her, “It’s just odd! I know he comes to the shop the days I’m not there, I don’t know if it’s because he’s avoiding me or because I did something. My boss told me about a week ago about a new staff member to help on a more permanent basis along with me so that could be it?”

“I’m your new co-worker,” Lily revealed looking partly guilty, “I was going to surprise you with the news next week.”

That struck a chord and all of the sudden you were laughing. Incredulous and hysterical peels fell from your lips. Lily looked on sadly as the pieced came together.

“What so funny?” James asked a smirk playing at his lips.

You looked up to find James and Severus had made their way over to where you and Lily were standing. James looked at you a knowing look on his face while Severus looked curious. 

“Lily let me know she’d be filling in the days I wouldn’t be working at the apothecary,” you say smile still in place, “I was so relieved and am so delighted to know. Sorry about the laughing, it’s just funny that we’d wind up working together in a field we both love.”

Severus glanced at you then as if he’d never known you were into potions, he should have known after seven years plus of friendship.

Not too long later, talks of getting dinner popped up. And soon enough your small group was making their way to what promised to be a cozy establishment on the muggle side of London. You’d have to make not of keeping the name in mind for next time. New memories would need to follow after this...

Severus kept your hand on his arm as he escorted you. Your mind drifted as you walked, if this had been a real date then you’d be pressing yourself to his side and putting your head on his shoulder. You would be having a meaningful conversation about anything and everything, maybe even starting the process of getting to know the adult versions of each other.

A faint grin appeared on your face at these thoughts...hope. These thoughts were your hopes personified. You “saw” his grin, “heard” his rumbled chuckles and “felt” his hand as he caressed your own on his arm on your way to dinner. 

“(Y/N)?” You heard someone call.

“(Y/N)!” You looked to find Severus looking at you worriedly, his hand on your cheek, “Are you alright?”

You gazed at him for a moment the daydream ever present. It would have been so easy to fall on that...but that wasn’t the truth. 

“I’m alright Sev,” you say with a grin, “Probably more peckish than I thought.”

He looked like he didn’t believe you and was about to say more when Lily brought your attention by proclaiming they’d arrived at the bistro they had in mind. 

//Time Skip//

Dinner went as you’d expected it to catching up, memories from Hogwarts, slight talk of the future. You felt Severus stiffen again when James and Lily ask the both of you not only to come to their wedding but to be a part of the wedding party as well. You nodded with a bright smile truly happy for them before covering up a “yawn” giving away that you were “tired”. 

Thankfully this gave Severus a reason to take you home. The bill was split and paid, you bid your friends a good night after promising to owl. In Lily’s case in the morning to plan for lunch during the week. 

Severus and you apparate into your living room from an empty alleyway. You gave him a, hopefully convincing, grin as you stepped away from him to take off your shoes.

“Can I get you anything before you head out?” You asked more out of courtesy than actually fish to have him stay.

He gave you a strange look.

“What?” You asked curiously. 

You’d thought he’d wanted to leave as soon as the evening came to a close. It isn’t as if he doesn’t have anything to do the next day. And to your surprise your boss needed you to come to the store in the afternoon.

“Are you alright?” He asked neutrally. 

“Yes,” you said, honest but trying not to seem as emotionally drained as you felt, “Why?”

“You’ve been out of it as they say most of the evening,” he said going to stand where you were putting your purse and wrap away.

‘That happens when your feelings for someone else become more apparent,” you thought to yourself feeling more than a little emotionally drained.

“I’m probably still a bit shocked from being asked about being asked to be part of Lily’s wedding party,” you said shrugging with a small smile.

He gave a chuckle at that but he knew there was more to that.

You resisted the urge to cross your arms over your middle in a defensive pose and waited for him to reply to that.

“I never thought he’d ask me to be part of his merry band of misfits,” he said clearly feeling awkward.

“I loved the play,” you said not knowing how to get him to leave without seeming rude.

“Maybe we can go see one again sometime?” He asked eyes brightening.

You wanted to sigh and scream and shake him to see you. Yell in his face that you were right there...if only he’d give himself and you a chance but you didn’t. 

“Maybe,” you said vaguely, “It’s getting late, tomorrow I have to go into the apothecary for something staff related.”

Severus nodded at this and went to apparate out when he turned to you once again and surprised you by pressing a kiss to your forehead and saying, “I was right that night in the Astronomy tower...you really do have the most gorgeous eyes.”

[the-space-above-the-stars]

my name on your...

lee taeyong x reader

Summary: As a tattoo artist, you’ve seen a lot of weird requests in your shop. But something new is when the florist across the street stumbles into your shop drunk as all hell and in the market for his first tattoo. 

Warnings: none, i mean drunk taeyong?

Genre: fluff, like entirely

Word Count: 1.7K

A/N: Requests are open!! This is based on an AU prompt I saw, but for the life of me, I cannot remember the URL of the person who put that post out, so if you see this, I’m sorry! Just a short fluffy thing. 

Rubbing sleep out of your eyes, you put down your tattoo gun, wiping the last bit of excess ink off of your client’s arm before passing them a mirror. “There you go, Yeri, how do you like it?” You ask, crossing the room for the coffee pot you’ve set to brew. It was near midnight and Yeri, an old friend and new client came through your doors a few hours back asking for a tattoo. 

“Wow, Y/N,” she gaped at the art on her arm, two intertwined snakes, one in black ink and one in white. “This looks awesome!” 

“Here,” you wrapped a bandage over the slightly inflamed red skin around the tattoo. “Give that a few weeks before you go swimming, take a bath, or go into a hot tub, okay? If you think something’s wrong, just come back, I’m usually here.” 

“Okay!” She grabbed her bag and with a wave, was out the door. Silence falls over the shop as you finish your coffee, heading back to the small workspace in the backroom where you threw up some ideas for designs. The walls were covered with tacked up drawings of tattoo designs you had done in your sketchbook. If you really liked them, you would redraw them more neatly and hang them up outside. 

Recently most of the drawings are flowers, a byproduct of your time spent drawing inside the florist’s just across the street. The shop was owned by Lee Taeyong, a boy around your age who was kind enough to let you come in and hang around the shop to sketch the flowers he arranged. He was shy, kind, and made incredible displays. Another fact was that he was drop dead, absolutely, positively, gorgeous and you had more than a few drawings of his stunning profie in your sketchbook. 

You pull another page from your sketchpad, several different sprigs of lightly etched wildflowers. Taeyong had a special bouquet set up for a customer, a personal friend and had gladly allowed you a few pictures to sketch it. It was nice, and you picked up your pen and a piece of paper. 

You had barely laid down the first line of the drawing when the sound of a bell ringing alerted you to the door opening. Just afterwards, a small crash and what sounded like some cuss words. Rushing outside, your eyes darted around to assess the damage to your shop, but there seemed to be nothing there. 

Except for a blue haired mess sprawled out on your floor clutching their side. “Hey man, are you okay?” Rushing forward to help them, you noticed that they were very obviously drunk, stumbling as you helped them into a chair. “Do you need- Taeyong?” 

“Yes?” The boy hiccuped and laughed, kicking his feet like a toddler. “Hey, you’re the girl that comes in to draw my flowers, right?” 

“Yeah, bud-” you didn’t finish as his attention shifted from you to your tattoo gear in the tray next to him, picking up the gun. “Uh, Taeyong, did you get drunk alone?” 

“No, uh, Mark was there, I think, I remember someone saying “let’s get it” but that could be Haechan imitating Mark or it could be Jaehyun, oh wait, maybe it was Lucas! But the voice was kinda quiet, so maybe Jungwoo? Wait, no, Doyoung was there! I remember cuz he drove us there. Did you know Doyoung doesn’t drink beer-” 

“No, I did not know that,” you tried to stifle your laughter at this drunk man-child, putting your tattoo gear a safe distance away. “Okay, so you didn’t drink alone, did you walk here? Just nod or shake your head.” He gave you an overly exaggerated nod of his head, eyes drifting to the designs on the wall. 

“Did you draw all these?” His eyes were wide with curiosity as he stood up, stumbling over his own feet as he reached the wall. “Wow, you’re talented and pretty-oh shit,” he giggled, not aware of the way your face was flushed bright red. “You’re not supposed to tell a girl you think she’s cute, right? I don’t know, Johnny told me that. Should I trust him, he’s pretty tall, so- hey! Can you give me a tattoo?” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, buddy,” you try to evade, the kill bill sirens of unethical business going through your head. “I don’t think you signing the forms while you’re drunk is very legal.” 

“I’m not drunk!” He pouted, sitting back down in the chair and tucking his feet up under him. 

“Okay, how many fingers am I holding up?” You held up three fingers, and unexpectedly, he reached forward and grabbed your hand, counting each finger off. 

“Three! Can I get a tattoo now? Renjun went out with Jeno and Jaemin to get a tattoo on his ass, he almost actually went through with it- wait, was that your shop?” 

“No, Taeyong, I’m pretty sure I would have remembered that. And I wouldn’t recommend an ass tattoo-” 

“But I want an ass tattoooo,” he whines, head falling back on the chair. 

“What do you even want tattooed on your ass?” You grabbed another cup of coffee, and an extra for him. 

“What’s your name again?” He slurred, suddenly entranced with the pop-socket on the back of his phone. 

“Y/N.” 

“Okay, I’ll get that. Cuz you did the tattoo, might as well be your own name.” 

“Okay, Taeyong, first of all, chug this.” He took the coffee and took a sip, pouting at the bitterness. “Please? For me?” Still pouting, he finished the coffee. “Okay, now can you give me your phone, please? unlocked, I need to call your friends.” He fumbled through his pockets and found the slightly cracked iPhone, passing it to you. “Okay, I’m going to call your friends to pick you up, just wait here.” 

“What about the tattoo?” He grabs your hand as you turn, stopping you swiftly. Why were his reflexes still good when he was fucking drunk off his ass? 

“Okay, I don’t know how to explain this simply, but basically if I give you the tattoo now, you’re going to not like it when you wake up in the morning. So go home with your friends, go to sleep, and if you still want my name on your...on your ass, you can come over and I’ll tattoo you.” 

“kay,” he lets go and you go through his contacts until you find Doyoung. It fings twice before someone picks up. 

“Hello?” 

“Hello? Taeyong?” 

“Um, hi, this is Y/N, I own the tattoo parlor opposite Taeyong’s shop, is this Doyoung?” 

“This is he. What did he do, I’m so sorry, we just turned around for one second and he was gone-” 

“Doyoungggg!” Taeyong calls from the front of the shop, catching on to who you’re on the phone with. “Hiiiiii, I’m getting a tattoo!” 

“You’re not really giving him a tattoo, are you?” 

“No, god, I’m not crazy. Can you come pick him up?” 

“Yeah, we’re almost there, we just left the bar.” He hangs up and you pass Taeyong his phone. 

“Y/N, can I tell you another secret?” He whispers, even though there’s no one around. “I really like it when you come to draw my flowers. You look really pretty.” 

“Really, Taeyong?” 

“Yeah,” he nods expressively. “When you’re drawing, your eyebrows do this thing where they just-” he squishes his own eyebrows together. “And your hair keeps falling in your eyes, it’s really cute.” 

“Thanks, Taeyong. You’re kinda cute yourself.” A black car pulls out, three guys coming out. “Are those your friends?”

“Oh, yeah! HI DOYOUNG, HI JAEHYUN, HI MARK- OH, it was Mark who was saying let’s get it!” Jaehyun and Mark help Taeyong up, the tpsy boy immediately pulling them both into a hug. “I love you guys sometimes,” he mumbles, and- wait, is he crying?” 

Doyoung, flustered and obviously worried, shakes your hand. “Thanks for looking out for him, he didn’t do anything too weird, did he?” 

“Uh, well except for asking for a tattoo of my name on his ass, no, perfectly normal drunk person.” Doyoung thanks you once more and gets into the car. 

“BYE, Y/N!” Taeyong waves through the window and you wave back as the car drives around the corner and out of sight, finally exhaling. 

*** The next morning, you’re almost done with a girl getting her boyfriend’s name on her neck- a choice you’re sure she’s going to regret- when Taeyong walks in, wearing heavy sunglasses and holding a bouquet of flowers. “Hey Taeyong, give me a minute here.” He nods, somewhat meekly and takes a seat as you wipe away the excess ink and give the girl the normal post-tattoo warnings before she heads out. “How’s the head?” You ask, taking a seat at the reception desk.

“Hurts every time I look at anything that isn’t black. Uh, these are for you,” He sets the pretty arrangement of yellow tulips on the desk. “For an apology for bursting in on you drunk and asking for an ass tattoo of your name- I was way too drunk-” 

“Taeyong,” you laugh, taking the flowers. “It’s okay. Honestly, I’ve had sober clients come in asking for weirder things. The flowers are beautiful, thank you.” 

“I didn’t do anything else last night, did I?” 

“Uh well, you called me pretty, like twice, but I think that’s about it.” His face flushes a deep red, and you can’t help but smile. “And I don’t know if that’s just the alcohol talking-”  “It’s not!” He stutters as a clarification, getting even redder. “I mean- okay, I’m not trying to make this even worse for myself, but I think you’re really pretty, Y/N, and I’ll let myself out now.” He turns to leave, but stumbles when you lean over and grab his sleeve. 

“That’s good,” you grin at the bewildered look on his face, your laugh breathy. “Because I, for one, think you’re really pretty as well, Taeyong.”

A/N: this is short, but i kinda like it. it’s chill. Requests are open!